072 - Laura Banks lives her authentic life through Acting, Comedy, Writing and Astrology

Laura talks about finding her way out of a toxic upbringing, her journey in comedy and acting, the importance of finding your true self-expression and the impact of astrology on her life. 

Laura Banks is an actress, best-selling author, and astrologer. You may know her as Khan's navigator in Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan. She went from acting, improvisational comedy and stand up, to humorous writing with Simon and Schuster. Her books have included Embracing Your Big Fat Ass, An Owner's Manual, Breaking the Rules and Last Ditch Tactics for Landing the Man of Your Dreams. Through it all she has been an astrologer, helping people find their true gifts through personal readings.

http://www.laurabanks.com/

Transcript

Laura Banks 

[00:00:00]Jolie Downs:Today we are talking with Laura Banks. Laura is an actress best selling author and astrologer. You may know her as con's navigator in star Trek, two, the wrath of Khan.

[00:00:13]She went from acting to improvisation comedy, and stand up into humorous writing with Simon and Schuster through it all. She's been an astrologer, helping people find their true gifts through personal readings and through her star gal network, which is a collection of professional astrologers.

[00:00:31]Laura, I'm really excited to learn more. Thank you for joining us on fresh blood. Could you tell us a little bit more about your story and in getting to where you are today?

[00:00:41]Laura Banks:I had a lot to overcome. I really came from a very dysfunctional family growing up 

[00:00:47]Jolie Downs:How 

[00:00:47]Laura Banks:every pretty much every aspect, wherever there's gifts, there's curses. My mother was incredibly artistic. She was used urologist. She taught me how to work with the planets. Five, six years old. I was learning about Aries Taurus, Gemini cancer, but she had a little drinking a problem.

[00:01:03]And my father was violent and my brother committed suicide. Just, 

[00:01:07]Jolie Downs:sorry.

[00:01:08]Laura Banks:thrown a bunch of stuff out there right away only to make the point that I had the instincts that around 22 to move from Kansas to California to get into self-improvement. Situations Terry Cole Whitaker was the first woman I discovered in San Diego and I was in her so strong of folks where she was teaching a message that kind of had a religious overtone, but mostly had it just like we can get this done overtone and I didn't look back.

[00:01:36]And I was S training in 1978 and, 

[00:01:40]Jolie Downs:What does S training?

[00:01:42]Laura Banks:asked was with Werner Earhart. And It's.

[00:01:46]a, it was just at that time real cutting edge group experience, releasing of shadow and went on to landmark education, which is to this day, one of the largest educated bodies of work in the country. And then all the good stuff that came after that, which is we'll talk about really came from that early decision I made.

[00:02:05]And you can make this decision at any point in your life to get help and to find your group and to don't be in the lone Wolf. 

[00:02:12]Jolie Downs:Yes. Yes. Yeah. You knew something hadn't changed. And so you made that change for yourself. You found what you needed.

[00:02:18]Laura Banks:I, yeah, I had to where I got that instinct from, I don't know, maybe, I'm an Aries with a lot of Leo and a lot of fire and I'm a go getter and a Cardinal sign. And So that personality would want to burn through. There are other personalities that would burn through it in different ways.

[00:02:37]Like a Pisces who's more of a poet or a romantic would maybe create works of fiction and beauty to work through. So as an astrologer, I will say each one works through their karma in different ways.

[00:02:51]Jolie Downs:So interesting in learning all of that at a young age, has this really impacted your life at every stage kind of making decisions based on your knowledge of astrology?

[00:03:02]Laura Banks:No, not necessarily all my decisions. And I was away from astrology for awhile. Always learning and growing and studying charts on my own and privately, but not in practice. Most decisions that were made that I may were an act of survival and either it felt 

[00:03:19]Jolie Downs:all can relate. 

[00:03:20]Laura Banks:Yeah. It either good. Or I was going to die if I didn't like that. Like I run on my instincts, I, full throttle. So I hit a wall and I turned around and hit the other wall. Then I chill for awhile and then I get up and now I don't hit walls, like I used to, but Yeah. The wall hitting the wall days are over for the most part. 

[00:03:36]Jolie Downs:So now tell me you, so you moved to California and you get, you put yourself in the self-development and you find this training, you start learning all of these different things. Where did you go from there? What happened?

[00:03:46]Laura Banks:So that was 1979. I'm 39. How I did all this, I don't know. And I discovered the comedy store in LA Jolla, California, and fell in love with the act of comedy, writing, standup comedy, anything to do with comedy. Oh my gosh. I'd felt like I just, I walked into the comedy store and I was home. 

[00:04:04]Jolie Downs:Did you start comedy in your forties?

[00:04:06]Laura Banks:I started comedy in my twenties and failed miserably and gave it up and came back.

[00:04:12]Yeah. I've met Whoopi Goldberg in 1979 and we've formed an improv comedy troupe. 

[00:04:17]Jolie Downs:Oh, 

[00:04:17]Laura Banks:had a true call, spontaneous combustion, and she was on welfare stamps at the time with Alexandria and years later, she would tell me that she was at star Trek to the Ethicon. And I came on the screen and Alexandria, her daughter said, mommy, mommy, isn't that the girl who did the improv comedy with and whoopee later told me, she said I was the first famous person. Which was cool. And she went on the right track, which I thought was even cooler. 

[00:04:43]Jolie Downs:Yeah, it is

[00:04:44]Laura Banks:Blew through a really? difficult dysfunctional situation where I was the parent to the mother growing up and manage the burial of my brother. And, 

[00:04:52]Jolie Downs:so

[00:04:52]Laura Banks:often the most gifted or the most tortured, he was a first year violinist and a guitar player and just a gorgeous soul. And so I knew I had to get out of Kansas city or I was going to go with mom because mom was pulling me under and that's the nature right. Of a co-dependent relationship. And as what, as soon as I left, she got better. 

[00:05:11]Jolie Downs:Wow. 

[00:05:12]Laura Banks:all the work in the world I was trying to do, as soon as I got out, everything went together for mom. Cause she didn't have me to depend on any more. She had to turn to her marriage. 

[00:05:20]Jolie Downs:Wow. 

[00:05:21]Laura Banks:Yeah. So it's 79. It's crazy. So in 79, anyway, I was in the comedy clubs. I was doing improv. And then in 1980, I moved up to LA where I got my degree in drawing and painting.

[00:05:31]And then one day I saw the trade papers or listing for a movie role. That was exactly my physical type in sent from central casting. and I went down, I met with central casting. Then I went to paramount and worked for a month on star Trek. And that became three more starring roles in movies and books and everything I've done since.

[00:05:51]But when I first was being discovered, I was working very hard as a waitress. I didn't have any money. I didn't know anybody. 

[00:05:57]Jolie Downs:were you trying to be an active actress at this time? Or was it more of oh, I saw this and it looked interesting and I wouldn't have tried.

[00:06:03]Laura Banks:No I've been acting since high school. I'd started in the high school plays. And I knew I, and I was always either drawing or painting or acting. I always loved the visual arts or the performing arts just naturally. My whole energies have been in self-expression I'm single by choice. Child-free by choice.

[00:06:20]Love men, love, romance, love, dating, love, relationships, love and love long-term relationships. But I just always, I just, it was always about my own self-expression so self-expression is it's the themes, the through line. And so yeah, 

[00:06:31]Jolie Downs:Oh, I love that. Okay. So that's fantastic. So you start acting on these star Trek movies, 

[00:06:36]Laura Banks:there's one star Trek too. 

[00:06:37]Jolie Downs:star Trek movie, the star Trek movie. And from there, where, after the acting, where do you go from there? Like how, like, where did the star gold network come from? Where did you start that?

[00:06:48]Laura Banks:Okay. Been in my radar is still in development for years. Okay. Here's a great example. You have a dream, you have a goal, you have a desire yet. How many years? Who cares, it's going to happen if you know it's going to happen. And that's where I am with that right now.

[00:07:01]Right now, it is me. It is me working and I'm in development with some people to launch what will be a network of intuitives that people will have access to. Everything takes chutzpah, right? Falling down, getting up, losing it, all, finding it again, experienced bankruptcy. I've just had it all happened to me, girl.

[00:07:19]And I'd rather be me. I'd rather be me alive and playful connected. Then some sort of practical, predictable life. Now everyone's going to be different though, like a Virgo or a tourist. Isn't going to be comfortable with the life I've lived. They're going to need it a little more buttoned down and put together. And I have house planets, which is risk venture positive. And so it all works out. 

[00:07:46]Jolie Downs:Yeah, no, this is interesting. And you're right. We all have our different things that work for us. Some of us in a very stable position might great and others, you need that stable position or else it greats. So it's all about finding that right thing. And now you mentioned, you've mentioned some big things that you've had to you've dealt with in your life and things that a lot of people unfortunately have also had to go through.

[00:08:13]How have you gotten, how have you gone through your worst times? How have you pushed through those struggles?

[00:08:17]Laura Banks:Family wasn't much support. I have a small family and we were scattered and workshops continued growth and development. Landmark education. They discover the name landmark now is the largest educated body in the world. And I will have to say, I can point to a lot of my success from what I learned about landmark.

[00:08:34]And it's real important that we bookmark here what that is. And in a nutshell, what that is we, as human beings have a series of experiences that shape us when you were five or 10 years old, someone, maybe three, when a pilot leaves and buried you on a beautiful fall crisp day. And they thought that was So.

[00:08:52]cute and funny and laughing.

[00:08:53]And you had Trump tax and that trauma stay with you for life, or you were molested. It can be a little or big. So how we let those experiences live in our body and run us, will we determined? Determining, if you're going to be continuing to repeat the same experiences, like durable in a wheel over and over again, or you're going to say, that's what happened like in the world of water is wet.

[00:09:18]Rocks are hard. That's just what happened. And now you've got your past present future separated right now you have the domain of past present and future the study of ontology, which is the study of being human data. They talk about the past present future. So most people they know their past jolie. And they're not living in the present. Most of us. Where do you think we are? 

[00:09:40]Jolie Downs:we're living either in the past or the future tense. Anxious,

[00:09:45]Laura Banks:almost always in the past because here's why, because without pushing shoving, teaching, educating yourself, going to an uncomfortable place with either a therapist, a partner, a workshop, a book repeated affirmations or something you've got to your past is always going to be here and your future will look like your past. Absolutely it's safe. I know what happens if I keep doing this over and over again, the enemy is what I don't know. So we keep repeating that thing and the little streams of consciousness in our brain that are embedded in there. We'll keep firing up the same things as the brain is the trickster, not your friend 

[00:10:19]Jolie Downs:Yes.

[00:10:20]Laura Banks:until we go, oh, wait a minute.

[00:10:21]That's the past. And I can choose to get rid of the past. Now we have an opportunity for a clear, present and future that we didn't have before. And that's what I continually went back to the work at a landmark. I'm not here to sell them work. I'm here to say there are all kinds of mentors out there that can teach you be here.

[00:10:38]Now, 

[00:10:39]Jolie Downs:Is there 

[00:10:39]any, 

[00:10:39]Laura Banks:is the key because otherwise you're just going to keep doing the same thing over there. 

[00:10:43]Jolie Downs:is there any tip that you would give people to help them let go of that or bring themselves back into the moment? Because this is something that we all, most of us struggle with this, let's be honest, this is a very human thing. 

[00:10:55]Laura Banks:It's 

[00:10:55]Jolie Downs:How do you. 

[00:10:56]Laura Banks:delicate, it's a very delicate question. People are really suffering right now. It makes me really sad. People are really suffering and I'm not going to pretend to have any answers. I know I've had a lot of suffering in my life and I believe Okay. I believe humor is a lot of it I'm sitting here on the verge of tears and I'm realizing what's gotten me through in the tumor and I'll tell you, my mother was very unhappy lady.

[00:11:24]And I remember the very day I learned comedy. I went to her and I was dressed up like a little native American Indian, and I was offering her beads. I go, you want to trade? As a joke, my Halloween costume. And she just lost it. And she cracked up. And in that moment I realized the power of comedy.

[00:11:38]If you can laugh at these situations where actually in that they're absurd that he left you. She left, you.

[00:11:46]I'm broke. The house is on fire. It's really empty and meaningless bravado. It's really to laugh. 

[00:11:53]Jolie Downs:Yeah, you have to sometimes, oh, completely know that some of the most deepest moments of despair, deepest moments of despair sitting there with family or friends, we have just escalate it to extreme laughter because you know what, it's kinda, you have to go, you got to go there and you need to release and it's going to be released in some way.

[00:12:14]And the laughter is a healing release 

[00:12:17]Laura Banks:Have you ever done that thing where I have, where I am like crying my eyes out and right in the middle of that, it turns into laughter 

[00:12:23]Jolie Downs:Yes,

[00:12:25]Laura Banks:and I just it hasn't happened. a whole lot, but there has been that where I hit bottom. And then the absurd thing kicks in and you can watch funny movies when you're sad.

[00:12:39]If if you have a funny friend or you need to find funny, people find new friends. If there's friends that are sucking the very life out of you and you think I can't let go of Mary or Joan or Jerry or Jack. Guess what you have to, and the plan is moving in particular. And each cycle will help you in different ways to shed, to get rid of like when mercury goes retrograde, everybody gets all spooky.

[00:12:58]When in fact mercury retrograde is a well, it's a very good time because we can go and review what cycle just happened,

[00:13:07]and evaluate our friendships and our romantic interest in our partners. What are we accepting? What do we need to have a better boundary around going forward? 

[00:13:15]Jolie Downs:right? Oh, 

[00:13:16]Laura Banks:Really? So really education is the way out of suffering. that's what I believe in the word of the day is education. And as, and strategic strategically, 

[00:13:27]Jolie Downs:So 

[00:13:27]Laura Banks:And strategic 

[00:13:29]Jolie Downs:was it a combination of,

[00:13:31]Laura Banks:edge of a location, it's just got the ma in education, 

[00:13:35]Jolie Downs:it's been the mine.

[00:13:37]Laura Banks:educate, you got, you need an education, a checkup from the neck up as what I say, what's holding you back is what will take you through, it's the front of the hand back of the hand, you have a skill and it took you this long to devise this. Fleshed out. Cool. Look and Polish. Holy and cool. Look, I'm Laura. I'm like, Yeah,

[00:13:54]I got it working. It I'm working it, it's that same Polish, that same veneer took the other side. It's a thing that holds you back. It's a thing that could only take you so far to the same place over and over again.

[00:14:08]So if you don't fall to your knees and get a God a gobsmacked, I like to say Godsmack, but I think it's gob smack. Why is it gobsmacked? What is it? God, shouldn't it be God. Someone's got to smack you just mother 

[00:14:24]Jolie Downs:because the universe is smacking you that's what's happening. The universe is coming in. It's smacking you up. this is what,

[00:14:31]Laura Banks:and most of us make changes in crisis. We wait for crisis. You don't have to wait for crisis. to make a 

[00:14:37]Jolie Downs:wait for crisis. Yes. That's what this podcast is trying to help people with because yes, it's so true. We do make those changes in crisis. And this is, that's a reminder. We don't have to wait and we don't have to, you don't have to wait for a certain age, have to wait for certain right 

[00:14:51]Laura Banks:and some people might be looking at me and going, oh, Laura Banks, and she's had this and that. And she's got the books and the movies and the, I had a TV series on well to brag about myself, to make a point I've not left out a dime of what I've wanted to do. I did the standup comedy. I did the improv comedy.

[00:15:07]I hung out with Robin Williams and Billy crystal and Jay Leno with David Letterman at the very beginning of the comedy world in 19 79, 80 at the comedy store, I was Right.

[00:15:15]there. It was unbelievable. And then I went on and I'm in star Trek and I'm touring with a cast and I'm signing autographs. And then it.

[00:15:21]goes through a picture movie deal.

[00:15:22]And now I got a three book deal. And once I'm in the Schuster where I get a six figure advance at another one sold 250,000 copies, a humor book on dating. And my first book was way ahead of its time about online dating and nobody bought that one. 

[00:15:36]Jolie Downs:So it might be ready now. They might be ready now for 

[00:15:38]that 

[00:15:38]Laura Banks:come to think of it, but what the point of all that is, and I moved to California when I wanted to, and I went and I did that. If I can do it, anybody can do it. I didn't have a hand up. I paid back student loans for years. I had, I waitress, I had, I've had to knuckle crawl to make this work.

[00:15:54]And and I really do believe that cause I am I'm blonde in some ways, Jolie. Okay. I want you to know, I, my friends need take care of me. I'm the one that like, just the other day I left kind of my glasses, sunglasses and some scarf or something in the lobby of the theater and my friends got to go back and get it from me.

[00:16:11]I'm just, and really there are worse stories in mind, but do not look at your past for your future. You are not defined by that. 

[00:16:18]Jolie Downs:Yes. You're so right. And you were talking about something really important to you that we keep doing the same things over and over, and we think it's the right thing. It's that familiar thing it's we keep just, whatever's familiar to us. We do over and over. It's scary to make that change, but you've been able to push yourself past that change is, w what do you think is inside of you that helped you push past those changes?

[00:16:37]How can 

[00:16:38]Laura Banks:was outside of me. I think it was accepting mentorship. I think I just made a movie. I worked two weeks on a film down here in Florida, in Leesburg, Florida with Sean Young, from blade runner. Do you remember her? Yeah, I was her standing and we got close and that woman has gone to the walls.

[00:16:56]She has fought for everything she has and you think, oh,

[00:17:00]Sean Young movie star, when she's made over 50 films since blade runner, she's not disappeared. And she had an industry turn on her. She was one of the very early women to come out and blow. On Weinstein on many of the others, really Scott, James Woods.

[00:17:13]And I said, the first minute I met her, I said, it is an honor to meet you. And I later got to tell her, look, you were one of the pioneers for women to have a voice against what men are capable of in Hollywood. And she was like, yeah.

[00:17:25]Yeah, it was great. It's great. I So not pretentious, not full of herself, but there, her mother was just horrible, and she got a big deal movie role and was staying and the mother told her she didn't get it. 

[00:17:40]Jolie Downs:Oh my gosh. 

[00:17:41]Laura Banks:Yeah. Yeah.

[00:17:42]And on. And, but, and so it's so easy, compared to spare, No. Oh, she's thinner, taller, shorter has more money. Has the husband has whatever and it's impossible to not look. And that's the design we have in our culture of commodity being the answer 

[00:18:00]Jolie Downs:Yes. And 

[00:18:01]Laura Banks:the answer. 

[00:18:02]Jolie Downs:it's what makes us unhappy. That 

[00:18:03]whole 

[00:18:04]Laura Banks:what makes us unhappy. 

[00:18:05]Jolie Downs:Yeah. Yeah. It's 

[00:18:06]Laura Banks:yeah, I it doesn't make well, do you think it makes you unhappy?

[00:18:10]Jolie Downs:yeah, I I have this quote on the bathroom wall for my children and it says to compare yourself to someone else's a fool's game and will steal your joy, the only person that you should compare yourself to is who you were the day before. And I a hundred percent believe that because anytime I start feeling unhappy or unsatisfied, it's because I'm comparing myself to someone and I'm thinking, oh, I should do be there.

[00:18:33]I should be that it's the should, but if I just bring it right back to myself and just look at my life and where I am and compare myself to who I was a week ago, a month ago, a year ago. Incredible. Fantastic.

[00:18:46]Laura Banks:fantastic. And the millennials, which are the 20 early twenties people they're really dealing with compare. And they're really in despair with the Instagram and all the social media, if one of these listening now, and you're one of those, just stop. Just give yourself at least. Because there's just, that is all a world of comparison that is only about comparison.

[00:19:16]You only live inside a world of comparison. 

[00:19:19]Jolie Downs:It's heartbreaking. Really. I'm so grateful that we didn't have that in my youth personally, just because it's, you're not mature enough to be able to let's be honest. Most of us aren't mature, with the social media, even the people who created the social media or on the social network, that, that documentary admitting that I created this technology, I know what it does and I'll, I'm addicted to it.

[00:19:39]Our brain it's they know how to use our brains and bend it to do these ways. So we just have to, we have to consciously make the decision and force ourselves away from it. Really?

[00:19:49]Laura Banks:We Really?

[00:19:50]do. And we have to mentor people that need our help and be a living breathing example. If you're a mom or dad to get your kid outside, to throw a ball, or to show them nature or to put your phone down, my podcast Zodiac Zodiac magic podcast.com Doug and I we were talking about recently, I had a reading with an intuitive who told me we're nearing Armageddon next end of next year.

[00:20:13]I'm like he says, oh Yeah.

[00:20:14]we're going to stock pile or food. And you're going to need to hide in the Hills. And there'll be, people dying, they got to get a gun. And I told Doug, off, off Mike, I was like, Doug, this is guy saying this. And then that's not a message I want to convey.

[00:20:27]That's and. What's my point of all that, it feels like that sometime with everything going on and with this new cycle that doesn't quit, that We really are at the end of days, but we're not,

[00:20:41]Jolie Downs:We look at history. We're not.

[00:20:43]Laura Banks:no we're going to keep going. And those naysayers, you got to tune them out, turn it off and take breaks. Take breaks from who you are all the time who used, who you are, who you've manifested to survive. You know what your rack like a racket is what they call it too. It's what's your racket.

[00:20:59]Oh, I'm smart. Funny, personable, charming. Great. And how's that working for you? Oh gosh. Maybe people don't know me as well as they could. Maybe I hide out from people that way. Maybe I make really good grades all the time. So no one has to see the suffering I'm under. I was extra curricula up the yin yang in college, high school, just like super achiever just to make YouTube.

[00:21:20]But now you probably didn't have a dysfunctional childhood. 

[00:21:25]Jolie Downs:I didn't was not faced with the challenges that you were faced with. No.

[00:21:29]Laura Banks:Yeah. And again, it can be little things. It's not that anyone needs to prove a point that there's is harder than another. Like I said, you could be thrown in a bucket of leaves and have a trauma that haunts you the rest of your life. That's why it's your obligation to do some look and under the hood, the way you get your car tuned every few months, why wouldn't you get a tune up in your head to go, all right, what's really driving me.

[00:21:49]Wow. I really am still mad about that. Last year when my sister Julie showed up and didn't have a pie, it's like what? 

[00:21:59]Jolie Downs:Where is that coming from? What is happening? These are very important questions if they 

[00:22:04]Laura Banks:We're designed as human beings to see the negative. We are designed to see the negative historically to survive. Since this is biochemical, this is anthropology. So the rewiring, it takes some may call cultish, some may call. I wouldn't want to be hypnotized like it was today, or I wouldn't want to be a course that makes me try it, all this stuff totally different than what I've already figured out, because what I've already figured out is working.

[00:22:27]And as Dr. Phil would say, really, how's it really working for you? Because in most places we are.

[00:22:32]carrying around like onstage and some of these courses, the trainer would be dragging a chair around, how are you doing today, mark? Oh I'm fine. It's just, there's a chair following you. Oh really?

[00:22:43]Am I dragging a chair? The old expression where, you got up, you got a monster on your face, you're like this big thing and it's you can't get it off. And you go over to people that go hide and you think people don't see this, and they see this thing on your face.

[00:22:57]So we can't really hide who we are. And there just comes a day where you got to go, all right, this is me vulnerable. This is me. Then you find your true friends, then you find your calling in life. Cause I'm sure you have a, had to overcome a lot of obstacles to get this far with your show

[00:23:18]Jolie Downs:Oh

[00:23:18]Laura Banks:and with who you are at every stage of your life.

[00:23:20]I'm sure. 

[00:23:21]Jolie Downs:No. Exactly what you're talking about there. And just that moment where you take it off and you say, okay, and you become vulnerable. It's like a deep breath. It's even just listening to you say that I can feel that deep breath that happens in that moment when you're able to do that.

[00:23:35]Laura Banks:Yeah. And that's where art 

[00:23:37]Jolie Downs:that we all need to be. 

[00:23:38]Laura Banks:That's where expression lives. That's when you're going to pick up that pen and journal every day, like your life depends on it. What a great thing. I'll tell you. One thing that got me through all of this is I've been journaling my whole life and that journal. Now I just read the other day that actually why that works.

[00:23:53]I didn't even care why it worked because all I knew it was like, that is my best friend. When you have a thought, I can't afford to pay my mortgage this month and you write it down. And all the stuff that it feels like, and what's going on and stream of consciousness, scientifically, I guess when it's over there, you have separation from it. And when you have separation from it and you have a, more of a perspective on.

[00:24:16]it, you knew that, see, I just didn't know really that. Did you know that? 

[00:24:20]Jolie Downs:Oh, I didn't know that I did. That's to hear it from, for me, I saw this comic and to me it completely said everything in this comic. And it was this comic of a person who was all red, everything's red and he's sitting there and there's a book in front of him and he starts to write and as, and the next picture, it's like a little bit green here, and then the next picture is right more. And then the greens here, and by the time of these done writing, he's all green and the book is red. So basically what you just said is the verbal definition of what this comic said to me when I saw it. And it was just a visceral yes.

[00:24:50]That's what happens.

[00:24:52]Laura Banks:It's an empty vessel. It's a tabula rasa. It's to only access what's next. You have to be at ground zero of yourself, which is an assumption that everything, it's all you throw away, everything you've learned to date, like for example, feather, bowlers are fun. And so I'm gonna put my feather for run. 

[00:25:10]Jolie Downs:they are fun. 

[00:25:11]Just spices things up. A 

[00:25:12]Laura Banks:it does it, it's an it's celebration of life and love and the pursuit of, and that blocking my microphone.

[00:25:18]Like I was on A TV set. There we go. I have no idea what I was saying. And that's part of the fun too, right? 

[00:25:23]Jolie Downs:That's okay. That's okay. I'm curious. Tell me this. What is your personal definition of success? And based on that, what do you think is key to having continued success throughout life?

[00:25:34]Laura Banks:From my incarnation in this lifetime with Aries sun, which is all about self and identity. And self-expression my way out has been self-express. But wherever you have a way out, there's this there's a sacrifice of another truth or desire, but, and I think you can have it all. I think you can have it all, but you do sacrifice because I have done the books and moving to California in the standup and the improv and the TV shows and sketch comedy and everything that I just have loved.

[00:26:07]I didn't marry, I didn't have kids, that's shirtless certainly a sacrifice. Couldn't be other than who I was. So inherently what it is for you. And I know we can't talk for everyone else, but I'll tell you this. It is self-expression self-expression journaling and just taking care of yourself, having a sense of keeping your house in order, keeping your house clean, eating the right foods, getting enough exercise quitting when it's time. And what I mean by that is I was in a 35 year relationship with someone who died in 2017, a very brilliant doctor who I worked with and developed a nutritional supplement line with and private practice. Thank You And I'm still recovering I'm in my third year of being down here in Florida, playing water volleyball.

[00:26:49]I call it my water volleyball coma, but I'm actually coming out. Finally, I'm coming out and working on my fourth book. If you need a time out, take it reinvention convention. Don't you don't have to come out the same person. 

[00:27:02]Jolie Downs:I 

[00:27:02]Laura Banks:She remembered who she was and everything changed. That's one of my favorite quotes. 

[00:27:05]Jolie Downs:Oh, I love that. Yes. I feel that yeah. Now and it takes time and it is like the reemergence is, that's what it feels like when you go through something like that and it starts to process it, it is a reemergence 

[00:27:21]and it's 

[00:27:22]Laura Banks:Will you give up your perspective on your husband and why your relationship isn't worth. For a day, try it on for a minute and then go to five minutes and maybe you'll see your side of it. Will you forgive forgiveness is everything. Forgiveness is everything. My father does not deserve the care he's getting from me right now at 97.

[00:27:45]Other than, of course you care for your parents, he doesn't deserve it. and he, we had a whole forgiveness thing happened about 10 years ago. What happened? He took a workshop. He took a sabbatical inside this word. I call it like a sabbatical, think of a unit. And then we connected, but think about a university where they're pouring information into your head.

[00:28:03]These teachers know how you take sabbaticals, a student and teacher, but we don't in life. We used to, we should take real vacations from work and things. No. Now we just go because of the competition and the fear and the thing. And now the go is to avoid the job. Maybe to we're almost in an avoidance action in the younger generations.

[00:28:23]Now the same. it's Zeplin said we all wear uniforms. There's no escaping the conformity, whether you're escaping to doing nothing or escaping to choosing to be a tied bay and going up to that wall street job. 

[00:28:37]Jolie Downs:It's very true. Yup.

[00:28:39]Laura Banks:really the planets and where they are. Is incredibly important to everyone.

[00:28:44]And anytime I work with anyone, they say they get 10 years of therapy out of just one session, because I can see everything from a perspective of at birth. This is who you were stamped to become and where that Jupiter is, where the gifts are going to come naturally is where all the cornucopia is. And people don't know whether Jupiter is in what house to activate that they aren't by nature.

[00:29:03]But to know it and understand it is a different realm. Saturn, the task master the devil, the well Venus is also considered the devil in astrology, but part that just is going to crush you, and you're going to come out transformed where that is, is going to always be your Achilles, your kryptonite. So it's important know, I don't care how you get, they don't choose astrology, but you got to know how you sell ticks, how you sell ticks like a fine Swiss watch, treat yourself like you're a Jaguar or you're a Cougar, or you're a Swiss watch.

[00:29:35]How do I work? What if, from what ground of being am I basing my. Are they based on forgiveness or they're based on compassion, understanding power self-expression 

[00:29:47]Jolie Downs:Yeah. No, 

[00:29:47]Laura Banks:can you. let go of someone who needs to be let go of, because you being there is what's holding them back. 

[00:29:54]Jolie Downs:well, and forgiveness is the ultimate thing for letting yourself go it's your freedom. 

[00:29:59]Laura Banks:Yeah. 

[00:30:00]Jolie Downs:It's the powerful thing to ease everything inside 

[00:30:04]lesson. 

[00:30:05]Laura Banks:forgive myself about, I certainly do. I made some changes to some mistakes in business and I don't know that I'm living in the right place. It's just, it's a big, hot mess and you go forward anyway, and you think about things like, I don't know, bacon, nobody ever said there was too much bacon, 

[00:30:22]Jolie Downs:No. 

[00:30:22]Laura Banks:Too much. 

[00:30:22]Jolie Downs:Maybe my one son. Yes. One's a never, 

[00:30:28]Laura Banks:And how do you, how have you figured out to cope? 

[00:30:31]Jolie Downs:The forgiveness thing is really big. I would say that's been one of the bigger factors of moving me forward in life was learning how to forgive myself and learning how to forgive myself. How to forgive other people, things that I've been holding on to for a long time. 

[00:30:47]Laura Banks:And

[00:30:47]this, isn't it choosing the healthy friends to keep and the healthy ones to get rid of it. Aren't some people just toxic 

[00:30:52]Jolie Downs:Yes. And being able to identify that and eliminate that from your life is a very important thing. 

[00:30:57]Laura Banks:Important. 

[00:30:58]Jolie Downs:was one that would fall in those cycles in the 

[00:31:00]Laura Banks:following those cycles and women out there dating right now and in men out there dating that, the narcissists and the users in the fast hookups. And, I think we're moving toward a bit of a different kind of sexual revolution, I don't know that it's awful. That we have, I think it's bad if people are experimenting way too young, but after a certain age, like 18 or 60, whatever, everybody knows, usually something happens. I think you can constructively just have a terrific, sexy life and it not be bad or negative. And I think for women specifically and men struggle with that because it's women in their lives is it's women are repressed sensually and sexually, and their marriages are suffering because they don't have that expression. And there was a course in New York city called mama Gena's school of womanly arts. Is that. And all of us well-heeled actresses and corporate ladies would go to the brownstone and where boas and basically discover our fun side or pajama night, night Java night party and just feeling sensual and feminine and just enjoying it.

[00:32:06]And you're not going to get hurt the whole issue with rape and all that scary stuff. Just know that's if you're really have good boundaries with men, get rid of the ones that are narcissists, don't let them drain you. I've done that. They'll they will, and you'll be stuck and you'll still be in love with them because that's what they do.

[00:32:23]You've got to move to another town, but if you could keep the toxic ones away and feel happy and S and sexy and fun, and in your body, then, your relationships will grow, I think will be really, I think it's really important that, that's what makes them great.

[00:32:39]Jolie Downs:I think I completely agree. I love that. Now Lord, tell me this, because we've talked about a lot of, you don't want to really cool things. So I'm curious, what do you consider to be your greatest success and what did you learn?

[00:32:53]Laura Banks:Interesting. What just came up from that? I wrote a, yeah, it was the book. Okay. I'll get the wrong answer first and the right answer. Second 

[00:33:01]Jolie Downs:I'm curious 

[00:33:02]Laura Banks:wrong is the wrong word, because it's very cool to, so I think surviving shooting an action picture in the Philippines where I led real armies into battle sprayed down with fire repellent, reservoir.

[00:33:12]Yeah. You don't have to go see it. It's wheels of fire. It's.

[00:33:15]Jolie Downs:live, live 

[00:33:16]Laura Banks:Oh, yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I had lunch, one of the suit dates with a little general and he had a Filipino army and I thought they had fake guns and stuff. And later I found out that when they yelled action, when I jumped out of the armored personnel carrier and I'm leaving, I go man this way and we're all running and I'm just going to Weaver character up front with my machine gun.

[00:33:33]And they all shoot off these guns. And I went into shell shock for three or four days, but the whole concept of that filming and what I went through this tunnel, I had a one woman show about it. There's so many facets, Google search, Spalding gray, and he's got some movies out where he took you to the Philippines and what happened to him.

[00:33:53]And that's what happened to me. So we filmed where they filmed apocalypse. Now we were in monsoons or as quakes. I was sucked into.

[00:34:00]the ground by albino midgets. I was that they will for bridge and I'm running up the bridge. And my leading man is this actor. Who's a creep. Who's not friendly. And isn't watching my back. Later find out he's dealing drugs to John Belushi is the second layer upon layer of all these things, but that's not that was amazing to shoot an action picture in that die. 

[00:34:24]Jolie Downs:yeah. Okay. 

[00:34:26]Laura Banks:yeah, pretty much just not die, which is the joke. If you're an action film actress in these action movies, literally, they just didn't care.

[00:34:32]They take your life in your hands. They didn't care, yeah.

[00:34:35]But Yeah.

[00:34:38]Jolie Downs:Yeah.

[00:34:38]Laura Banks:I just want to be careful answer this question, correct. Okay. I'll say what first came to mind. Cause that's what truth is. My third book, we I'm getting all my names confused, embracing your big fat ass and owner's manual came to me in a flash, a woman's self qualifies with five pounds or 40 pounds. All of us think we're over. Embracing a big fat ass and owner's manual was the salmon at Simon and Schuster book. It was my one time I was really published by a big house and there was a, like a six-figure advance in a bidding war.

[00:35:10]And I was going into Ballantine and Warner books and Simon and Schuster. And I'm like, oh my God. was just so excited. And then the book was really hard to write because there were a lot of essays in there about what Jeanette Barbara is my coauthor, and she's won about eight. Emmy's working on television and she's a brilliant comic.

[00:35:27]We wrote two books together with Janette barber. We, our first book breaking the rules was just absolute hysteria, tongue and cheek about how to date our second book embracing a big fat ass is humor and fun. But between these real life essays that we all had that Jeanette and I wrote, and I'm most proud of that, I'm most proud that I had a really good editor to have it all come to. That it put the word ass in the title of way ahead of its time. And now everyone's got the word ass everywhere, but back then we were going to go on good morning America. But because the word was asked in the title, they said they couldn't have us on the show. What the, what other word would there be embracing your big fat heinie?

[00:35:58]It just doesn't work, but in that I did have to write an essay about my mother's. What does that When you donate 

[00:36:04]Jolie Downs:When you donate an organ 

[00:36:06]Laura Banks:when you don't 

[00:36:07]Jolie Downs:or donate money or we don't eat.

[00:36:08]Laura Banks:When you, so my mother was that, and I didn't know it. And she was at, in her forties, this isn't just a young person's disease. And that particular essay was how watching my mother and her relationship with food and food on a fork and its contents, as I would say, I carry 30 pounds of excess weight up to now, I've just took it off because I've had digestive issue.

[00:36:29]I really drove myself to illness and now I'm the weight. My brother went. I'm just having a moment right now when I said that to you, I didn't even put that together. And she used to joke, oh, I finally this drinking Laura, because I got sick when I drank and I made me stop drinking. And I'm so glad I had this disease. That makes me think that is what I did. isn't it.

[00:36:49]But I'm proud. I'm proud of my work in that book. I talk about a man that came on strong and he was the one that he was going to be the love of my life. And he was just a complete fake. And all the times I've been fooled by men who fooled me because they wanted something, they wanted sex.

[00:37:09]And that's so important to get to know people. And if, look, I don't care. You want sex? You want to go to a nudist resort. I go, you want to, you want polyamory? Are you head of a flexible? Are you whatever the new gadget widget. You're in charge. Don't let anybody tell you when and how and what You're going to do.

[00:37:28]You can embrace any kind of to the moon and back your sensuality, but don't do what you don't want to do. And don't stay with who you don't 

[00:37:35]Jolie Downs:A hundred percent, you're in charge and that's the bottom line. 

[00:37:38]Laura Banks:which, and many women have lost their sexuality because they've had to be in charge so hard to get where they are. They button it down. They had that job, they raised a single child. They're managing their households. They got money concerns. They've got health concerns. They got baby kids concerns. Where is it there in that A chance to be absolutely leisurely appreciating every minute of your life.

[00:38:01]Jolie Downs:A hundred percent. W what do you

[00:38:11]like? What's the solution and the solution there. Go have fun right there. That's I go?

[00:38:15]Laura Banks:Yes. Find that really is directly fun to girlfriend and go to a local museum. 

[00:38:21]Jolie Downs:Yes. A hundred percent put on your Bella.

[00:38:27]Laura Banks:And go out into the cold. 

[00:38:29]Jolie Downs:are. So right now. Wait, now, Laura, have you ever been in that position though? Have you ever felt stuck in.

[00:38:37]Laura Banks:Absolutely. 

[00:38:39]Jolie Downs:Yeah. And what do you do when or what have 

[00:38:42]Laura Banks:you know what? That's 

[00:38:43]Jolie Downs:work successfully? 

[00:38:44]Laura Banks:You're very good at this. You're very good at this. I love these questions and they're hard. We're not talking about all my wins and stuff. Although I will insert here that I'm coming out in a movie next year. 

[00:38:54]Jolie Downs:Have to let us know. 

[00:38:54]Laura Banks:two movies, no vacancies next year. And that's what Sean Young.

[00:38:57]And that's a true story. Remind me what I was just going to say though. It was really important. You'll have no idea, cause I didn't tell you 

[00:39:03]Jolie Downs:Yeah.

[00:39:04]Laura Banks:we're gonna, we're gonna miss that point. have fun, go play and make movies. So no vacancy comes out next year. I have a small role in that as a politician's wife, but I primarily was Sean Young's standard that comes out next year.

[00:39:18]And it's a true story. It's going to be on pure vision, which of those Christian networks, which are becoming real big. Now, Julie it's just true story of a church respect his church that bought a hotel, the house, the homeless, 

[00:39:28]Jolie Downs:Oh, cool.

[00:39:29]Laura Banks:and what they're up against to make that happen. It was really a good story.

[00:39:32]Jolie Downs:Oh, wow. That sounds interesting.

[00:39:34]Laura Banks:I know. So that comes out. I'm out in a book next year, too, on the making of star Trek too. I got interviewed by two Illinois professors about a month ago, cause it's a supportive the anniversary of star Trek too. So everybody wants me now to talk with them. But the we talked about the making of star Trek too.

[00:39:48]That comes out. I don't know what the name of is going to be, but paramount publishers. No, I did not know paramount had a publishing 

[00:39:53]Jolie Downs:Neither 

[00:39:54]Laura Banks:So that's paramount pictures. Cause I made the movie at paramount, worked there the month and 1982. A documentary that's being edited as we speak I'm in it, Ron, Howard's in it.

[00:40:06]Let her Malter in it. Kevin Smith's in it, Sean. Young's in it because it made and it's out of the movies that came out of 19 to 82 and how amazing they were 

[00:40:14]Jolie Downs:Oh, 

[00:40:14]Laura Banks:star Trek to Poulter guys, 80 Gandhi. It's what did it crazy clear? So they're doing a documentary on that and That's going to be all the film festivals in 2022. 

[00:40:23]Jolie Downs:Awesome. Now that'll be interesting. 

[00:40:25]Laura Banks:yeah. So 

[00:40:27]Jolie Downs:the thing the, thing 

[00:40:28]that I'd 

[00:40:28]Laura Banks:that gets me going when I get stuck 

[00:40:30]Jolie Downs:Yeah. What successfully has gotten you out of being stuck?

[00:40:33]Laura Banks:moments like this, so gracious and generous people. So of yourself that would say, come on the show I've created, I'm going to give you a time out from the rest of your life. And I'm going to talk to you and I'm going to make you my friend. And I'm going to trust. You're going to say interesting things. What a leap of faith on your part, it takes that is just find a friend, make that phone ring either professionally or personally, have fun with your buddies. 

[00:40:54]Jolie Downs:Yeah.

[00:40:54]Laura Banks:Get dressed up in the morning and put heels on and a boa and do your 50 calls. It can be fun if it's not fun, you won't do it. 

[00:41:00]Jolie Downs:Yes. Oh, I do. In the middle of the pandemic, I actually had two weeks there where I wore a resort where he just pulled down you know what, we can't go anywhere. So I'm just going to every day, I'm going to pull out one of the justice. I would wear at a resort and I'm just going to have resort week.

[00:41:18]Laura Banks:I'm going to have to go out and buy some what's a resort dress look like, 

[00:41:20]Jolie Downs:Really they're just long dresses that I'm not, I live in Santa Cruz, but the beach, I'm not going to wear any of my long dresses all 

[00:41:25]Laura Banks:Like sparkly, nightgowns, like right there, first seating on a cruise ship or something. 

[00:41:30]Jolie Downs:nothing super fancy, really. Really, it's just, 

[00:41:33]Laura Banks:Yeah. 

[00:41:34]Jolie Downs:they're just long dresses 

[00:41:35]Laura Banks:I love the sound of that, 

[00:41:37]Jolie Downs:a Hawaiian resort or 

[00:41:38]something, 

[00:41:39]Laura Banks:idea. What a great idea I have to go look for a long dress. 

[00:41:44]Jolie Downs:You can make 

[00:41:44]Laura Banks:But really it's taking the time out Jolie and calling a time out on yourself, back to that sabbatical concept. I've really taken what it's taken, which is about three and a half years of being in seclusion, playing water volleyball with a couple of hundred other people. I'm not, I could easily beat myself up about that. Money-wise time-wise I only got older. Why didn't I do it? And now that I'm back in the world and people are meeting me and talking to me like, oh my God, Laura Banks, you're so amazing. I know about you. And I just, I don't even, I don't even, I didn't see myself that way. And I still struggle with seeing myself that

[00:42:18]way.

[00:42:19]And the more astrology I go into the deep of the deeper I get into astrology, the more I'm of service and the more I get my biggest joy from having a chart. Talk to me with Archangel Michael and getting some vision and some people know lights going off and they see why they made these choices.

[00:42:35]There. That's why I want to put together a network of readers because this is instantaneous. Get off, whatever it is when you realize like Jolie, I need to just do your chart because I will tell you things and you will not know how I know, and it will relieve you. You'll get it even more profoundly on a spiritual level that you're on a karmic wheel and that you live so many lifetimes.

[00:42:56]How else could it be? 

[00:42:58]Jolie Downs:would love it are Laura. I will hire you when we'll after this, because I am an absolute, I am an absolute Leo that's for sure. 

[00:43:04]Laura Banks:Oh my God. I, love Leos. Of 

[00:43:05]Jolie Downs:I feel that there is, there is a lot of interesting things about astrology, so I'm, I am very curious. I actually have whatever it's called your chart or what it tells you the houses or whatever.

[00:43:14]I don't even know what it all means. I just have one that's

[00:43:18]Laura Banks:That's a natal chart. Yeah. 

[00:43:20]Jolie Downs:that's on my wall, so I don't know what any of it means, it's there.

[00:43:24]Laura Banks:The moment you were born and the moment you were born is that under. 

[00:43:27]Jolie Downs:Yes.

[00:43:27]Laura Banks:Okay. There's like a, an imprint because this is you and you're wow. Why I'm just being born. And then the planets are like, your Anna's Taurus. You ran is Virgo is over there, and this is an inference you and who you are now, let's talk about really Lara planets do that.

[00:43:45]They can't do that. Think of the moon. Think of what happens when the moon gets full. Like it is today. Emergency rooms fill up to the car to the wall, more lunacy. The moon does that to us. We have scientific evidence that we are almost all water or planet is almost all water. 97% of what's going on.

[00:44:08]We don't even know what's going on. Be as subliminal or even in our own DNA. They've discovered most of it's just space. It's just space. Everything is a 3% 97% ratio. 

[00:44:20]Jolie Downs:It's a fascinating.

[00:44:21]Laura Banks:So then the moon does that. And it's cycles. And I can tell you start a new project on a new moon, not a full moon. That's just science.

[00:44:34]Today's not the data started a project. 

[00:44:36]Jolie Downs:Okay. 

[00:44:37]Laura Banks:Today is harvest time. Today is just let it all go. You can't do any more with whatever you built for the next week. So the moment it's two cycles in a month, that's going to give us a sustainability the way they used to use the land for crops and for food. And the plan is to understand that.

[00:44:51]So the moon does that to the planet. You don't think your redness didn't do something to you. You don't think Pluto didn't do something to you. These planets. Absolutely. They did imprint you and they will continue to, this is all we know.

[00:45:10]is that there are certain masses in the sky that are dancing with other masses in different gases.

[00:45:14]And that ride that would've been my next book masses in different gases. 

[00:45:18]Jolie Downs:So basically learning more about your astrology or learning how to get your chart can help. You can help 

[00:45:23]Laura Banks:Everything it's already set. They understand to a millisecond when they're going to land on the moon, they understand to a millisecond, the movements of the sky in Jupiter. I look at my femoris and I can tell you in 2050, exactly, to the degree where Jupiter's going to be in the sky, and we're not on some finite wheel, we're not on a faded system.

[00:45:48]We are in a dance with this down to a degree. It's I hate to say it like that, cause there's a lot more layers to it than that. But there is a super-duper truth to the fact that this is we're on a, we're on a rollercoaster and there's a thing there's well, you.

[00:46:03]can go this way or that, but we're all on a ride. 

[00:46:06]Jolie Downs:I really like how you put that. You said that we're on a damn. With this. And I found that really powerful because that just jived with kind of our role in this, we're in a, we're in a dance with the university. It is, it's a give and take. It is a back and forth. It is a it's the

[00:46:24]Laura Banks:And Leah was designed. You are, you would say that because Leo is the sign of amusement pleasure. It's the sign of dance, art sing, laugh. You're naturally drawn to the arts, a Virgo hearing that a Virgo hearing that would say be practical and understand it. Not understanding vegetarian burger, but to say let's build it now that's Capricorn.

[00:46:48]A Virgo would say, aye, I think because It's ruled by mercury partial, right? So they're thinking the, way through to pleasure. They don't have to change who they are. And you and I would dance. Cause I got a lot of Leo and a lot of fire it's important to, to tend to know your garden, to know your secret garden.

[00:47:07]I heard this great thing on speaker. She wants said, invite people into your. Like you've got a problem and you need to figure it out. And we didn't want to bother our friends and we don't want to go to, but God forbid, they find out that I didn't know how to put that probably will not put back together.

[00:47:24]Jolie Downs:We do 

[00:47:25]Laura Banks:you go to somebody and you know that they love you and they're not going to judge you. 

[00:47:29]Jolie Downs:Oh, 

[00:47:30]Laura Banks:Look, I can't figure this out. 

[00:47:32]Jolie Downs:And invite them into your

[00:47:33]Laura Banks:And this speaker told me, let others tend your garden.

[00:47:38]Jolie Downs:That's good.

[00:47:39]Laura Banks:I know I can't own to that point. And unfortunately, I don't know the name of the lady who 

[00:47:43]Jolie Downs:I thank you for sharing me 

[00:47:45]Laura Banks:Yes, 

[00:47:45]Jolie Downs:the point that you've shared along.

[00:47:47]Laura Banks:it is. It's for everyone to hear and mentoring. Who can you find in your life? If you're 15, 20, 20, 5 years old or 75, who's doing what you want to do then be with that person study that person like I had Alan Pressman, who's written 19 books and five texts. And was the voice of nutrition and health in New York city and treated everybody from Leonard Bernstein to Lauren Bacall, to Michael Tilson, Thomas, the whole cast of Saturday night live.

[00:48:14]He was a celebrity doctor and I watched him and I watched him how he loved life on some big, giant stage in New York city. And it was just every Broadway show. He was the doctor and I, but more importantly, I saw him in self-expression and I, if you don't have someone showing you that it's hard to develop the courage.

[00:48:34]So if it takes a lot, what is the chosen profession that it's 16 or 70, 80, you've always wanted to do? Then go find someone who's doing it and just mentor them. Mentoring is super easy way to get through stuff. 

[00:48:51]Jolie Downs:Yes. Oh, completely well. And finding someone to help you. It just makes all the difference. They can just elevate you to this next level when you just open yourself up to a little bit of help. 

[00:49:01]Laura Banks:And in that moment, Julia, you're forgiving yourself. 

[00:49:03]Jolie Downs:Oh 

[00:49:04]Laura Banks:takes us back to the beginning. I know It's okay.

[00:49:06]I don't know how that widget works. I'm going to call Jan. Yeah, I've got to look stupid. I'm going to be vulnerable.

[00:49:15]Jolie Downs:It's okay.

[00:49:16]Laura Banks:Be horrible back. They'll be like, you don't know how to do that digit, really, and you got 

[00:49:22]Jolie Downs:good they're like, yeah,

[00:49:24]Laura Banks:to respond that way to us.

[00:49:25]Like really, you don't know how to do that. 

[00:49:27]Jolie Downs:it's. 

[00:49:28]Laura Banks:of themselves. That's a shadow piece that they're seeing on me that they're not accepting in themselves that, oh, I would never be that vulnerable to ask a guy out. I would never be rejected. I will never be that vulnerable to tell you that I'm in a really screwed up marriage. 

[00:49:42]Jolie Downs:Ooh. That's interesting. 

[00:49:45]Laura Banks:But if you're in a screwed up marriage, you need to get out 

[00:49:48]Jolie Downs:No, yes you do. 

[00:49:50]Laura Banks:and start studying narcissism on the internet. Every chance you can. 

[00:49:55]Jolie Downs:It's a big problem out there. I ain't unfortunately,

[00:49:59]Laura Banks:And men too. I have a friend here. He's a dancer. He's a dancer. He's the best guy dancer I've ever seen of had a crush on him. It's not gonna work out. It's a little bit younger than me anyway. Why am I talking about 

[00:50:14]Jolie Downs:nothing wrong with that, Laura,

[00:50:20]the dancer.

[00:50:24]Laura Banks:Yeah. Bob the dancer. Yeah. So we were just on a sad point then. Yes, please shoot. 

[00:50:29]Jolie Downs:I'm curious because 

[00:50:30]Laura Banks:I'm like, yeah. I,

[00:50:33]like Jimmy Fallon on being interviewed by Stephen Colbert and we're interviewing each other. Yes, go ahead. 

[00:50:39]Jolie Downs:This is off, this is out of left field off left field. I'm curious if there's because you've written your own books, and you're, you obviously are very interested in what's going to help us and serve us in this world. And so I'm just curious, what has impacted you if there's been a 

[00:50:55]Laura Banks:Let's just stop right there. Let's just start with there. So I'm a comedian, right? I'm a standup. I got a little edge and I got a lot of honesty and I got authenticity. If I don't have authenticity, there's nothing. I honestly don't do this from a place of services. The first thing I do it, and this is where it's, you can just flip this and get this.

[00:51:14]My mentality is I come from a place of pleasure and if it feels good, I know it's feeling good to the other person. I stay in that place. And I have worked at things that were, unpleasurable I've registered a lot of people in the landmark and help a lot of people get distinctions and I've helped people with nutrition.

[00:51:32]And after nine 11, I'm a nine 11 victim actually I was down there and I helped people get reimbursed, FEMA, thousands of people. I built a company that wasn't fun, that wasn't fun next to a funeral parlor that body parts were coming in everyday wrapped in an American flag. Probably part of why I have a digestive issue.

[00:51:48]Cause I've read?

[00:51:49]them that stuff for two weeks going on forward from there. Not that you don't have to go through what I call a piercing in a chart. It's that moment in the chart where it's like, all right, this person, they're going through the garment with their self image, paternal relationship, sister, sibling, child.

[00:52:09]Everyone's got that piercing. And that world trade center certainly was a piercing. And you come out the other side and of course, comics are known for being miserable people, but we're really not. Certainly we access misery on a very deep level with language and our behavior back to pop culture and things we say from the stage, usually, which I so love, comedians tell the truth and committees are the way out because there's no, there's less censoring there.

[00:52:36]Like George Carlin, it's important. Don't you think you'll leave for people to find something that lights them up, whether It's standup or improv or a special book,

[00:52:43]Jolie Downs:Absolutely. It's a must. 

[00:52:44]It's a must. Yes. 

[00:52:46]Laura Banks:even if you throw, paint all over your boyfriend and turn it into different colors, 

[00:52:50]Jolie Downs:Yeah. You got to light the spark. You have to. 

[00:52:53]That's why. 

[00:52:53]Laura Banks:to have a spark. 

[00:52:54]Jolie Downs:Yes. Yes. What I mean, I'm just, I can't imagine what that must have been like. What, going through that, I'm curious how that's impacted your life as in, after having to go through that and reflect on it after these years, what was the takeaway for you that you learned from this experience?

[00:53:14]Because it's pretty 

[00:53:15]Laura Banks:It's interesting that I led armies into battle right. In a movie and I was in a war zone and now I am a victim of a war zone. 

[00:53:22]Jolie Downs:Yeah.

[00:53:22]Laura Banks:My health is certainly forefront in there wondering if my current physical challenges have any relationship to it. And I've certainly taken care of that legally to find out just recently.

[00:53:32]And so it was forefront of my mind who was really injured in that who was physically harmed, who lost so many people who it every day is a day of suffering because they've lost who they loved and world trade that comes to mind. The resilience of New York. The resilience of my favorite town of the whole wide world, that town gorgeous down there.

[00:53:50]Now, have you seen the Memorial and the shops that have opened up and, oh, it's on the water and the world trades. You've got these central Liberty going on. It is gorgeous. Gorgeous to go to New York city go. And that's what happened after world trade center, they said fine. We went through this and this is really the most important point I could make possibly today, which is something horrible happens.

[00:54:11]Like my dad, my father probably is going to die in about the next six months. He's 97 and a half. 

[00:54:17]Jolie Downs:Yeah, it's dark. It's really 

[00:54:19]Laura Banks:world war II veterans. You're on food stamps. You lost the person you adore. You're a victim of world trade center. You're living with a narcissist. You have writer's block and in money counts on you figuring out how to start writing. Alright, grasp it. Hold it. Feel that situation hated, cry at it, yell at it, get it.

[00:54:35]And the only other thing you have to do is to let it go when you're done, you do not have to continue to replay that your brain only needs that lesson once to not get screwed that same way again. But what we do as humanity is we hold onto the hurts because we're afraid if we put it down, we're going to be frightened and vulnerable.

[00:54:55]And if I hold on to being mad at Esther, if I hold on to being mad and all it does is give you high blood pressure. 

[00:55:02]Jolie Downs:Yeah. It's a w well, someone, I can't remember how it was put. They said it's like only suffer one arrow. When you get that hurt, that's the air, that's the first arrow. But she just hold 

[00:55:13]Laura Banks:That's the piercing. The first scenario I have to.

[00:55:15]write that down. I didn't even know. That was a say. 

[00:55:17]Jolie Downs:And yeah, but if you keep, if you just keep beating yourself up about it and you keep, ruminating and feed that anger feed is just you now we're just shooting yourself with these more arrows and suffering from more arrow blows. And so I don't know what the saying goes, but that was the, I dunno, that's just something that stuck with me, 

[00:55:35]just only take one arrow 

[00:55:37]only suffer the first day only suffer from the first arrow.

[00:55:40]It could also be, I could be applied to worrying too, you worrying 

[00:55:45]Laura Banks:in my belief system is geology is very strongly reincarnation and I've had a lot of psychic experiences. So I've done so, many fab in so many places in the life and time. We come back lifetime after lifetime to get it right or to not. So to that note, only take one arrow.

[00:56:01]I am just recently got a reading I'm on my final lifetime and I've been. 27 times. This is,

[00:56:10]what I just learned. And I'm going to 

[00:56:12]Jolie Downs:you find all reincarnation. 

[00:56:14]Laura Banks:And I was like, what was this guy who told me this? I'm like exactly what goes on when you're not here? He goes, oh, you just a bliss all the time.

[00:56:20]You, you totally different energy forms. You're in communication with everybody and anybody that ever mattered all the time. And you have a giant network of relationships that exist in the universe from all your lifetimes. And you're in this network of relationship as energy. 

[00:56:34]Jolie Downs:this is what people say who've 

[00:56:35]Laura Banks:Have you heard that before? 

[00:56:36]Jolie Downs:Oh, I've read lots of books about people who've had you've passed away and have those. I wouldn't say near death experiences, but they've actually died. And come back and these accountings are all the same. It's 

[00:56:49]Laura Banks:Yeah. And it's funny. I've died three times in three different movies. My dad is a spaceship navigator. Now my favorite one? is the second one? I died. I was eaten by them.

[00:57:01]Jolie Downs:And

[00:57:01]Laura Banks:Hey, come on. Joe Lee, 

[00:57:02]Jolie Downs:In which movie I'm trying to think. I like which movie? 

[00:57:05]Laura Banks:have you ever met a woman who was eaten by a monster before? 

[00:57:07]Jolie Downs:No. What movie though? I want to know. And what 

[00:57:09]kind of 

[00:57:09]Laura Banks:not know the name of my movie because it's a it is on Netflix now. It's called demon of paradise 

[00:57:16]Jolie Downs:So it was a demon monster. 

[00:57:18]Laura Banks:So it's a demon water monster 

[00:57:20]Jolie Downs:I'm totally going to go watch.

[00:57:21]Laura Banks:who had his way with me. Yeah.

[00:57:24]And I have a joke. I have a joke. Yes. Yeah. I was my monster. yeah, You haven't been eaten by a monster, a very green and very horny. So things are going pretty well. So I took him home to eat the folks 

[00:57:37]Jolie Downs:yeah, 

[00:57:40]Laura Banks:I'm embarrassed, but you die on camera and then you die in real life. I had an out of body experience, many of them my, when the moment my brother died, I left my body.

[00:57:48]I went into this veil. They call it or this. And it's a cloud of unknowing. And then you go through and I went into this cloud and I popped out and I went right to where he was his dying and his car accident.

[00:57:59]And I felt the Ascension. And by then I'd made my way park the car, gotten into the hotel lobby and this guy's looking at me and he said, are you okay? And they catch it to me. As I collapsed to a chair and get my body, my spirit back in my body. I'm not making that up. It's this is a bottle of nail Polish.

[00:58:14]I'm telling you it happened my body, my spirit left my split. And it happened when I almost died in a car accident. I left my body during the car accident and saw every frame by frame moment of my life, which that does 

[00:58:26]Jolie Downs:This happens. Yeah. I know this happens. 

[00:58:27]Yeah. 

[00:58:28]Laura Banks:And if you don't get one of those, she got you better starting to hurry up as you're done, because you got to pack from zero to end. My bags were packed to that car accident, but you will look at every frame of your life before you die. 

[00:58:40]Jolie Downs:Yeah I do believe, oh, I believe who knows what happens, but something that, that people say in that have experienced these death experiences, they say that when you die, that you relive your life and you live in a moment of time, you live every every single moment of your life and you feel you feel what you put out into the world.

[00:58:58]So all of the hurt that you put out to other people and how it rippled through the universe, you feel that, but the reverse is true as well. All of the good that you put out into the universe and how it rippled, you feel that, and you feel all of it in this moment, in this understanding and knowing and realization of what is comes into you.

[00:59:19]Laura Banks:That's beautiful and well said. What do you.

[00:59:22]think happens when we die? 

[00:59:25]Jolie Downs:I think that what you described. I think that we, this moment happens. I think this is something that we go through. I think it brings us to the understanding that all knowing it's that process, that, that kind of brings you into that moment, if you will. But what you described as that con constant connection, as I believe that it is a an all-knowing all connection, all spiritual, different realm.

[00:59:47]If you will, of something that's hard to fathom on the earth, I feel like this is where we are to learn. This is our, this is our battlegrounds for our soul, for our souls learning and development. That's what I believe. And. 

[01:00:02]Laura Banks:believe to this put 

[01:00:03]Jolie Downs:But this has been a very interesting conversation.

[01:00:07]I have enjoyed it thoroughly now for people who are interested in your services and install as an astrologer, where can they go find you?

[01:00:15]Laura Banks:Sodiank magic podcast.com is my show where we have psychics and intuitives on. And I do the first 15 minute. For 15 minutes is 15 different than 15. What do you think, Julie, I go with 15 or 15? I'll stick with 15 first 15 minutes. I'm doing the planets and what they're doing in a week. So you can plan your life.

[01:00:33]I'll tell you what's the best night for romance versus finance. Don't sign the contract here, sign it there. And I do that without knowing your chart. I give that away for free. Anyway, Stargell network.com is my website. If you want to natal chart, reading, and relationships where I'll take his chart, her chart, or her chart and her chart, whatever you are.

[01:00:52]And I say, all right, this is what works about you. It doesn't, I can do astrocartography, which will tell you where you're supposed to be living, 

[01:00:58]Jolie Downs:Oh, interesting. 

[01:00:59]Laura Banks:to find whatever it is you want and different planets line up with different lines. And they latitude in a longitude way. I do transits, which means what you can look at in the next. Are you in a Saturn return, then your life doesn't. We put a kid turns 27, 28 years old is going through a Saturn return and they'll come out different. The other sides there'll be married, they'll be in a different school. They have a different job because there's just this huge transition there. I like to share that with people that just knowing the biomarkers of what's coming and know your personality, how did you integrate your mother's madness into your life?

[01:01:31]What did you give up? Where are your strengths? You got break it down and have a breakthrough like that. I got that Ross Perot. 

[01:01:39]Jolie Downs:Yes. And if they want to find your books, 

[01:01:42]Laura Banks:Okay. 

[01:01:42]Jolie Downs:Night

[01:01:42]or? 

[01:01:44]Laura Banks:your big fat ass and owner's manual is on a Google search.

[01:01:47]Jolie Downs:Okay.

[01:01:48]Laura Banks:I believe that's at Amazon. I don't know. Who's I know my books are still out there Breaking your rules, breaking the rules. Last ditch tactics for led to the man of your dreams. Love online, good luck and embracing a big bad-ass owner mountain manual. And I'm writing a new book on strategy and star Trek. 

[01:02:08]Jolie Downs:awesome. Awesome. Interesting. We'll have links to in the show notes for your books and for your website so people can find you. 

[01:02:15]Laura Banks:And I'm good at parties. You have a bar mitzvah. I'll come 

[01:02:17]Jolie Downs:Ooh, interesting. 

[01:02:19]Laura Banks:laugh. 

[01:02:20]Jolie Downs:Yeah.

[01:02:21]Laura Banks:And I bring my dog. Yeah, we'll all be friends 

[01:02:24]Jolie Downs:that'd be, yeah, that love that 

[01:02:26]now. 

[01:02:26]Laura Banks:in the corner over there. I don't know who you are. 

[01:02:28]Jolie Downs:So final question before we go, Laura, what are you sure of in life?

[01:02:35]Laura Banks:That if I'm not laughing at. 

[01:02:43]Jolie Downs:Humor. Humor is always the way to go. Yeah. 

[01:02:47]Thank you so much, Laura. I really appreciate your time. This has been wonderful. 

[01:02:51]Laura Banks:Really great on my end too. Thanks so much for the chance.

Jolie Downs:

I had so much fun talking with Laura. I appreciated her sharing the difficulties she faced growing up with a mom who grappled with drinking and anorexia, a father who wrestled with violent tendencies and eventually losing her brother to suicide. Laura grew up in a situation where she needed to parent her own parents. She found herself stuck, stuck in a toxic environment with hurting and struggling people who were bringing her down with them. 

Laura did the smartest thing she could do. She removed herself from the toxic environment. She took it upon herself to be proactive about change and she found help. She knew something needed to shift but she didn’t know how, she had no one else who could potentially help her – so she went out and found that help herself. 

Anyone can do this. There are so many resources available and so many people ready to help. If you are struggling, ask yourself, who can I ask for help? If you don’t know, start searching on google and find some organizations or meetups that will meet your needs. When you find the group that speaks to you, jump in, ask for help, reach out to the people around you and start connecting. Keep asking, keep looking until you find the help you need. 

For Laura, she found help in personal development through the Landmark Forum. She learned how to harness her mindset for positivity and growth, she learned how to release her shadow self. Now for those wondering, what does that mean? The shadow was first talked about by Carl Jung, describing it as the unconscious or unowned parts of our personalities that our ego fails to see or accept. It’s any aspect of ourselves that we do not expose to the light. These parts of ourselves are born in childhood, when an adult made us see aspects of ourselves as good or bad. 

As an example, imagine a young 5 year old boy who has an emotional experience and bursts into tears, his father yells at him to “stop crying like a little boy and be a man” – the boy takes that to mean that crying is bad and begins to act tough when what he really wants, is to cry. I feel so bad for the countless men who had their emotions stolen at a young age. Crying is so cathartic and healthy. The common flip side to this coin is the little girl who gets angry and is told to “stop being bad” which causes the little girl to equate anger with being bad and all of a sudden, you have an adult woman unable to express her emotions with a slow burn of anger boiling just under the surface and a passive aggressive expression causing issues in her life. I feel so bad for the countless women who had their emotions stolen at a young age. Expressing emotions is cathartic and healthy. 

Now that you’ve learned about the shadow self, try to bring awareness to your own life and uncover your own shadow. Look at the story that created it and have empathy for your younger self. Be kind to yourself as you bring forth your own awareness of the impacts of your childhood and find peace in healing your stories. 

Laura found her help, she left her toxic situation and in doing so, she opened her life up to let the good flow in and in doing so She learned the most important lesson, she has to be true to herself. In order to live her best life, Laura must live her most authentic life. Everyone is going to be different and trying to live someone else life is a path to misery – you have to be you.  

When you are true to yourself, true to your own forms of self expression, your own success is found. For Laura that was found in the form of acting, art, writing and astrology and she went on to have a great many successes – movies and tv acting, author of multiple books, worked as a radio host, was co-owner of Targeted Nutritionals, a professional astrologer and she’s not done learning and growing. As she shared, if she can do it, so can you. Laura built from a troubled a past, she had to find the tools and community to help her, she put herself through school, she waitressed and knuckle crawled her way up to where she wanted to be. Do not look at your past to find your future. You are not defined by your past but you most definitely are the author of your future. You get to decide what you will write. Make sure what you write, is based in a positive vision of the future. 

Laura shared that she has had her mix of struggles along with her successes. When things have gotten difficult, Laura takes time to review what has happened, evaluate herself, her life and learn what is needed for a change moving forward. As she said, education is the way out of suffering. 

Humor sure does help too. As Laura suggests, call that funny friend and share a laugh! Turn on a good comedy. Humor is an extremely powerful tool to help shift your mood or mind set. If you can find laughter in the hardest of times, it helps give your body a reset. It brings you right into the present moment and gives your body and soul a much needed release in one of the healthiest of ways. Don’t be afraid to laugh, even in the hardest of times. Take the story of Norman Cousins as an example, Norman was diagnosed with a rare debilitating illness that the doctors told him there was nothing that could be done. Norman took matters into his own hands prescribing himself with major doses of two things -  vitamin C and laughter. He used those two things to heal himself of what was believed to be an unhealable disease. His belief in the laugh cure is well documented in his various books and laughter has been proven to improve your immune system, relieve pain and improve your mood. 

Give it a try right now. Take stock of how you are feeling in this moment. What are your emotions? How do you feel? Now I want you to put a huge smile on your face, force that brilliant smile out and give a forced chuckle. Now how do you feel? 

Laughter truly is the best medicine. 

Have you listened to your favorite comedian lately? Have you discovered a new comedian? As a suggestion, perhaps instead of the news or social media scrolling or the dramatic/action movie you grab a comedy instead. Let’s all add more laughter into our lives.

Another great insight from Laura was that we must all know the answer to the question. 

Who are you? 

You must be looking under your own hood, doing your own evaluations. As Laura said, you get your car tuned up regularly, why wouldn’t you do the same to the most important machine in your life, your mind. It’s important for you to know how you tick, how you work, from what ground do you base your decisions? 

How are you making these decisions? 

Are they coming from compassion? Are they coming from power? Understanding? Self expression? Uncover your stories, your beliefs and your motivations to better understand who you are.

What about forgiveness? Are you able to give that to yourself as well as others? Forgiveness is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself in life. If you want a game changer, practice forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is not about releasing justice, it’s about releasing the hold that situation or person has over you. It’s about releasing you from the internal chains that continue to cause you pain. When you find forgiveness, you find a lightness in life that cannot be taken away. 

Finding forgiveness is the ultimate freedom. 

Full stop.

It’s so vitally important, I’ve talked about it before, I know I’ll talk about it again, and it was the catalyst for me creating a copy of Vishen Lakhiani’s six phase meditation and adding it as episode 67 for this podcast. Forgiveness is the third phase and is practiced by following 6 simple steps. 

You can do a simple forgiveness meditation yourself by following these steps: 

1.    Choose the person you want to forgive. Close your eyes and Create the space, visualizing the space where the situation occurred or visualize a safe/protected space.

2.   Read them the charge, See the person in front of you, tell them how they have wronged you. Feel the emotions, relive the anger and pain, feel it burn, but only for a couple of minutes. Once you bring up the emotions, you want to move on. 

3.   Think about this person. What kind of experiences have they gone through in life to make them act this way? What did they lack in life? What hurt have they gone through that made them do what they did? What has helped shape them? Remember that hurt people hurt people.  

4.   Attempt to see things from their eyes. See the situation you are forgiving from their perspective. Feel compassion for this person. 

5.   Think about what you learned from this situation. Ask yourself, was there meaning that helped you become a better you? How did you grow from this? Reflect on your own growth from the situation.

6.   Forgive them. Let them know you are done holding on to this grudge or pain. Imagine hugging them, passing love on to them and setting them free. See them fading away. Feel yourself letting go. Feel yourself lightening.

Remember to do this on yourself as well as others. We are all doing the best we can at any given time.

I’ve personally adopted this forgiveness practice over the past few years and it has brought me more peace than I can possibly describe. I’ve let go of painful memories and have found myself released from so much wasted negative energy. I’ve found it transforming relationships that I wasn’t sure were salvageable. I’ve found deep sleep where there was once insomnia. I have found a lightness of spirit that I did not know was possible. It’s been a gift and I encourage you to consider making it a practice in your life as well. 

Make your list, pick one person or act a day and slowly release yourself of those negative burdens. You will release the chains of negativity and leave open the space for your positivity and success. 

You’ll find with practice that it will become easier and easier to forgive as things happen in your life, until eventually, you’ll find that understanding forgiveness in each moment and you will become unfuckwithable.

As they say – To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that prisoner was you. 

Finally, I’ll leave you with a final thought from Laura, regardless of whatever difficult thing you are dealing with in life, grasp it, look at it, see it, go through it, learn from it and then let it go when you are done. You don’t have to keep replaying that pain over and over. You only need the lesson once to learn but for some reason we tend to hold on to our hurts, keeping them close to us thinking they’ll protect us from being vulnerable again. But this just prolongs the pain and deepens the scar. Being vulnerable is where healing happens. Being vulnerable is that deep breath of acceptance of self. As Laura said, being vulnerable is where art lives, this is where expression lives. So Forgive yourself, forgive others, Be vulnerable, learn from the pain you were subjected to and only suffer the one arrow. You can’t choose the first arrow, but you get to choose how many times that same arrow pierces your heart.

I looked up where I heard this from and it was from the Buddha, of course, he said:

 “In life, we can’t always control the first arrow. However, the second arrow is our reaction to the first. The second arrow is optional.”

So this is my wish for us all, that you will catch yourself when you mentally add more pain and suffering, you’ll be kind to yourself, giving yourself credit for noticing it and then you’ll make the decision to avoid another arrow and consciously choose a different reaction. 

Until next time