083 - Jeff Wickersham, Peak Performance & Mental Toughness Coach shares his top tips for up-leveling your life

Jeff talks about his journey from the corporate world to Gym Owner to a lead Performance and Mental Toughness Coach. He shares some of his key tips to up leveling your life in a variety of ways.

Jeff Wickersham a peak performance coach focused on guiding clients to implement his 4-Step Morning Fire methodology, the Rise, Fight, Love, Repeat, for more energy, focus, abundance and time in their days.  He is the creator of Kings and Queens of Sparta Masterminds and a best-selling author, podcast host and speaker.  Jeff loves to push the limits of what is possible and most recently hit 100,000 pushups for the year and 4 years straight of meditation.  

Learn more here: https://www.themorningfire.com/

Transcript

Jeff Wickersham

[00:00:00] Jolie Downs: Today we are speaking with Jeff Wicker Sham. Jeff is a peak performance coach focused on guiding clients to implement his four step morning fire methodology, the rise fight. Love, repeat for more energy, focus, abundance, and time in your day.

[00:00:17] He is the creator of Kings and Queens of Sparta Masterminds and a bestselling author, podcast host and speaker. Jeff loves to push the limits of what is possible, and most recently hit a hundred thousand pushups for the year amazing, and four years straight of meditation. I'm really excited to learn more.

[00:00:39] Thank you for joining us on Fresh Blood. Please, could you tell us a little bit more about your personal story and getting to where you are 

[00:00:46] Jeff Wickersham: today? Absolutely. And thank you for, , thank you for having me. So grateful for, for the opportunity. So my journey, I know we're talking about over 40, it starts right before.

[00:00:56] I turned 40 about four months prior to, to me turning 40, and unfortunately I had that life event that cut me at the knees, punched me in the gut, shook me to the core. I lost my mom to breast cancer. Ah, I'm sorry. So hard. Oh, thank you. Thank you. When, when. , you lose the woman that brought you into this world.

[00:01:13] You literally watch her take your, her last breath. It fundamentally changes you at your core. So at that point, the days, the weeks, the months ahead, I question everything in life. Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. , what, what was my purpose? There's gotta be more. I just watched my mom pass there. I, I just didn't feel inspired on a daily basis.

[00:01:32] Mm-hmm. , I was working in corporate America. I always felt kind of like a square peg in a round hole. Mm-hmm. . So I went into that. Personal development journey, exploring, questioning, Hey, what, what do I truly want to do? What's my purpose? So smart ab, about a year and a half after I left corporate America, I went into, , open up my own gym business.

[00:01:55] I was always into fitness. My late mother was always into fitness. Mm-hmm. . And then what organically grew out of that was peak performance coaching. Amazing, right? Because so many people would fill out a 10 question application to come in and see me at the gym, but out of a. Only 15, 20, 25 people would actually answer a text, respond to an email, or return a phone call.

[00:02:13] And I thought, okay, what, what's the issue? The issue is in the battle in between our ears is the battle that we all face on a daily basis in our minds, and how do we get past those negative beliefs? How do we operate in peak performance? So I went down that personal development rabbit hole. I've, I've never come out, I, I'm in it on a daily basis.

[00:02:32] Yeah. But I truly, truly believe it is such. An amazing journey and once you start to kind of uncover just a piece of, of what truly lights you up, you'll never be the same. Right. That, that's, that's what I, I truly, truly love every day. I'm just grateful to, to have these conversations, grateful to be upright and, and living and so, so empowered to.

[00:02:58] inspire others to, to do the same. It's wonderful. 

[00:03:00] Jolie Downs: Oh, I love this. I love this story. And, and because look, there's a lot of people in corporate America that are filling like a, you know, square pay and a round hole feeling like they're doing their job, but they're not really living. But it's really hard to make that change.

[00:03:19] So you went down this personal development rabbit hole. Now tell me, because you said about a year and a half later you made that, you made the switch. So tell me about that year and a half, what brought you to that point where you had the courage and the knowledge that this A, this is exactly what you wanted to do, because that's a big deal, figuring out what it is that you wanted do, but then you had that courage to make the jump.

[00:03:37] Could you tell us a little about that? 

[00:03:39] Jeff Wickersham: So I would say it's a combination. Courage and a push. Right. So where I was working, I was working virtually at the time, and about 11 months after my mom passed, they said, you need to relocate to an office. I'm outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Mm-hmm. had to be in New York or Arizona.

[00:03:56] Wasn't happening. I have two sons that are now 13 and 11, so I kind of had that push. I had a little bit of a runway. But I also had the courage to tell my wife, this is what we're gonna do, and, and she said I was crazy. And, and I probably was at that point. Right. And, and whenever there's a change, it's a difficult thing.

[00:04:14] Oh yeah. So I would, I would say it was a combination of those two things of. Having the courage to say, you know what, I, I want to chase this. And then two, that little push out the door. You know what I would 

[00:04:24] Jolie Downs: say is that you had the, you knew that you wanted to chase this, you figured it out, and um, the universe brought that to you.

[00:04:30] That's what I say. The universe gave you that push cuz. Yep. That's the thread through all these stories. If you're not ready to do it yourself, it seems like the universe eventually comes along and just gives you that push . 

[00:04:41] Jeff Wickersham: It's, it's so, so true. And when you're aligned and, and you're, you're in that thought process, you have that awareness.

[00:04:47] Mm-hmm. , it's amazing what signs can. the universe provide and, and then you can key into it and, and really move accordingly. Yes. 

[00:04:55] Jolie Downs: What helped you figure out what you wanted to do? Because that's a big thing for people as well. A lot of us are, are ba they're buried. You know, they're buried under all of the half dues.

[00:05:03] They've just been reacting to life and when, when asked, well, what do you really want? I know so many people who are saying, I don't know. I mean, I was that person I didn't know either. That's why I did my own personal deep dive into personal development so I could figure it out. But what helped you figure out for.

[00:05:20] Jeff Wickersham: So I was just like everyone else, right? Twenties, thirties. I was a heavy drinker on the weekends, you know, numbing up the pain of not really knowing my purpose mm-hmm. or what my passion was. And I think really from watching my mom leave this earth, it was, you need to make, you need to ask yourself some hard questions.

[00:05:41] Yeah. And, and so many times, Society and, and what's out there, whether it's alcohol, gambling, whatever it might be. It, it's, those are numbing agents. Mm-hmm. , because we don't wanna face the true questions and ask us those deep questions, because many times we're not gonna like the answer and it's gonna be painful.

[00:05:58] And, and our minds are wired to either run away from pain or go towards pleasure. I will say running away from pain is much more powerful. So of course we don't ask ourselves those very, very difficult questions and. When you find out those answers, then you can start the process. I would also say so many people don't understand how incredibly rewarding it is to work on yourself.

[00:06:21] Do the things that light you up, exercise, sleep well, drink a glass of water when you wake up, all these things that, that truly light you up and then allow you to operate at such a peak level. So, uh, it's, it's really having the courage. to look yourself in the mirror and, and ask some tough questions. And, and our minds are wired not to want to do that, to avoid the pain.

[00:06:41] So it's a very difficult process to, to start. Yeah. 

[00:06:45] Jolie Downs: You're still right. And and we are, we're all out there. Numbing, numbing ourselves. And that's, that's the first thing is realizing that that's what you're doing. That, that with the drinking, with drugs, with all of those other things to keep you away from asking, you're numbing yourself.

[00:06:59] You gotta wake up to that and start asking the questions, and it does make all the difference. And so, , you finally made that jump. You, you got the push, you made the jump, you started your fitness. Facility. And in that you were talking about how that kind of grew your coaching.

[00:07:14] So tell me about this because I know that that Covid came along , and put a big ham . I have some friends who are gym owners. Covid was a very difficult time . So tell me about this experience. How did you deal with this and, and what came out of it? What did you learn? 

[00:07:31] Jeff Wickersham: So I would say when I started the gym business, I was still in the mode.

[00:07:37] Self sedation not really operating in a peak level. Mm-hmm. , I still remember going to teach a class on a Saturday morning, and I had hung out with buddies the night before, and quite honestly, I smelled like alcohol . And my wife was like, how are you gonna go teach a fitness class when you stink like alcohol?

[00:07:53] And I was like, it was, it was a, it was a wake up call for me. Mm-hmm. and, and I knew I needed to make some fundamental. changes in my life to be a better dad, a better husband, a better person in, in the community. And, and not only for others, but for myself most importantly. Mm-hmm. . Um, and when I started uncovering and going down that process and reading books, listening to podcasts, hiring coaches, it just became this, this journey of self-discovery and that business failed, right?

[00:08:22] Mm-hmm. , my gym business failed. I closed it down 18 months ago. It was a logical pivot. Mm-hmm. once Covid. to get out of the gym business. Yeah. I wasn't doing the proper things on a daily basis. I needed to execute mm-hmm. and I think I was still operating from a place where so many people operate from that life should be easy.

[00:08:40] Right, right. We should get six, six pack abs in six minutes. I just was driving down the road and I heard a, you know, advertisement on, on sports talk radio for loose 40 pounds in 40 days, and or build this funnel and you're gonna get a million dollar business in a week. Yeah. We are pushed constantly that it should be quick and.

[00:08:59] It's not. And through the gym business, the biggest lesson I learned, mm-hmm. is, it is not, it is hard, hard. . And if you don't have that realization and you're not expecting it, no wonder why so many people fail because you, you've been fed that. It's just gonna be easy. And then you say, well, something's wrong with me.

[00:09:16] Nothing is wrong with you. You're a human being. It is hard. It's hard, hard work. 

[00:09:20] Jolie Downs: Mm-hmm. , it really is. So, I mean, and that's, that's the truth for so much out there. It is hard work and you have to be willing to do that work and you have to love it. I mean, if you don't really love it, it's, it's just gonna soul suck.

[00:09:34] it's gonna suck the soul right out of you. I know, I know. I've been there , so 

[00:09:40] Jeff Wickersham: I've been there. I've been there as well. Right. And, and I call it a world full of walking zombies where so many people are just walking through. F unaware of the choices that they make every single day. Unaware of how habits run up to.

[00:09:56] 90% of what they do on the base, on, on a daily basis, and they just don't understand, Hey, I, I have a choice that I can get out of it. Is it gonna be easy? No, it's gonna be hard, but you can make choices. Yeah. And, and choose to live a more inspired, you know, empowered 

[00:10:10] Jolie Downs: life. Exactly. Exactly. So, so what did you do when your, when your gym shut down?

[00:10:16] I mean, you had, cause your coaching was starting then. Is that, did you just pivot or did you do something else? 

[00:10:21] Jeff Wickersham: So I was still doing coaching. I mean, literally the day. In Pennsylvania, they closed down everything I said, come to the gym, grab equipment, we're going virtual classes. I literally snapped into action just like that.

[00:10:34] So nice having that adaptability. Mm-hmm. , I was already coaching through Zoom, so I said, we're gonna do it through Zoom and, and we quickly pivoted that way now after five months I said, okay, we, we need to do something different. Um, kind of, kind of moving forward. And it was a logical, logical shift. And I will say once Covid.

[00:10:53] And we did go into lockdown. People were like, are you still getting up at four 15 in the morning? I said, absolutely. Like, you need to double down now and stick to your habits, to your rituals, stay healthy more than anything. And people were always like, why don't you sleep in? Because that's a, that's a slippery curve.

[00:11:08] And, and I know. Slippery slope. I know so many people that started to sleep in, started to eat crappy. And listen, I stressed . I was a stress eater during the first couple months. I ate so many Oreos. It wasn't even funny, but I still was getting up early and doing the things on a daily basis to, to light me up.

[00:11:25] So I actually, when Covid hit, I, I wrote my book. Uh, so I, I, I wrote my book during that time, which was, uh, which was pretty cool. My late mother was a. teach her all her life. Mm-hmm. love. So as I published, I said, you know, she's probably so darn proud up there, but she's probably kicking herself because she's like, if I was there with you, we would've had the biggest celebration.

[00:11:44] But it's, it's nice to think of her looking down and, and, uh, being so proud of me. 

[00:11:48] Jolie Downs: I love it. And that was the time, you know, to go after those different goals and push herself in different ways and learn new things. So, congratulations writing your book. Tell us about your. 

[00:11:57] Jeff Wickersham: So it is the blueprint. I use that four step morning fi fire methodology, the rise fight, love, repeat.

[00:12:03] I always say the R rise is a phoenix rising from the ashes each day. Love Phoenix. Yes. New opportunities. New possibilities. Yes, fresh fight. You need to fight for what you truly want. I feel like that fight kind of dog mentality has been bred out of us. As a culture , you need to truly fight for what you want in life.

[00:12:21] Yes, you gotta bring that energy love. It all starts with loving yourself. Yes. First, yes. Once you love yourself, and I, I take people through a process of going in and looking at themselves in the mirror and saying, I love you, and, and so many people get so emotional because they've never said that to themselves.

[00:12:37] You love yourself, then you can show up so much better for everybody. And then that secret sauce, the repetition just over and over again, falling in love with the process. Mm-hmm. , then it becomes a habit. Mm-hmm. then your, your, your, your, your foundation is so solid. That every single day, whatever I call it, the book ends of the day, right?

[00:12:56] What's that last 30 minutes of the day look like? What's that first 30? You get that book ends, right? Mm-hmm. , whatever's in the middle you can handle. 

[00:13:02] Jolie Downs: Wonderful. Oh, I love it. And you're so right God, that self-love, it's vital, right? And how many, how many people out there don't have that self-love? I'm so, I just wanna applaud that you are helping people find that for themselves.

[00:13:14] That is, that is. changing moment right there when you can find that. And what you said is repetition. I mean, that's, that's how you get there, is the repetition, . 

[00:13:24] Jeff Wickersham: That's, that's it. And, and so many people get so emotional. I know I did when I first went through the exercise, right? And, and people just don't look at themselves and they're not proud.

[00:13:34] They beat themselves up, up, over and over again. One thing I've done recently is detach from giving myself some grace. Mm-hmm. and saying I'm human. It's not that there's anything wrong with me. I can't operate at a high level every single day. There's gonna be days I'm not, not on. Yeah. That's okay. That's okay.

[00:13:53] I'm a human being. Get back into it tomorrow. Right? Yeah. And, and don't beat yourself up over and over again, cuz that's never gonna allow you to grow moving 

[00:13:59] Jolie Downs: forward. Exactly. Oh, you know, I actually just posted about this because it's one of the secrets of, of, of successful fulfilled people is just knowing, understanding that, understanding that these mistakes are simply stepping stones.

[00:14:14] They're a part of our learning. And I know for myself and I, I, I know a lot of people do this, but for majority of my life, I mean really, you know, until just a few years ago, I would beat myself up in any kind of mistake. It would just be. You know, just tearing yourself up. I'd wake up in the morning and ruminate about the things that I did wrong, and that is not a healthy place or healthy space to be living in.

[00:14:38] And it, and it, it absolutely restricts you from a lot of life. And so being able to change that is fully life changing. 

[00:14:49] Jeff Wickersham: It, it truly is. And, and I'll relate it to a hammer versus flash. And so many times we beat ourselves over the head with a hammer over and over again. And I did this couple weeks back where I didn't have a great day and I said, gosh, but, but I gave myself grace instead of a hammer.

[00:15:04] I used the flashlight and I got curious about why that was. And here it was, I in the morning love writing down my, my mission list, what I'm gonna attack through the day so I can cross it off, feel accomplished, really be organized well, that day that I beat myself up. I didn't have a list. I ran out of notepads.

[00:15:24] So that was the issue. So the next day I got back on the horse, I didn't beat myself up and I was so much more productive the next day. So stop using a hammer, lose a, use a flashlight instead. Get curious and amazing things will happen. I love 

[00:15:36] Jolie Downs: that. I love that. I'll always remember that hammer and flashlight.

[00:15:40] Oh, I'll be using that in the future. Thank you, . 

[00:15:42] Jeff Wickersham: Nice. You're welcome. . 

[00:15:45] Jolie Downs: So, so tell me, I mean, We, we, we haven't covered everything. You know, you, we have your speaking and everything, but I'm, I'm curious what your personal, what you would say is one of your greatest. We can share a couple. What are one or two of your greatest successes in life?

[00:15:59] Why and, and what did you learn from it? 

[00:16:03] Jeff Wickersham: one would be last year I ran the, uh, David Goggins four by four by 48. Uh, run. I'm not sure if you're familiar with David Goggins. He's a ex-Navy Seal, ultra-marathon runner. Crazy, crazy work ethic. He set the world record for Pullups, uh, at, at some point in, in his life.

[00:16:22] But he has this run where you run four miles every four hours for 48 hours straight. So 12 legs, you're basically. The equivalent of two marathons over a weekend. Okay. And it's like 11:00 PM 3:00 AM 7:00 AM 11:00 AM 12 legs. So I did that last year. Raised money for charity and it was a great process to go through training.

[00:16:43] And then not only the physical aspects of putting 48 miles in and in basically 48 hours, but the mental process of just. Making sure I was ready mentally and getting through it. So that was, oh my goodness, that was an amazing, uh, amazing feat. And I'm doing it again this year because, oh my goodness, if you do something once, All right.

[00:17:05] That's great. , I'm Now you know what it takes and you do it twice then. Then you truly have mastered the 

[00:17:13] Jolie Downs: game. Okay. I'm really impressed. Give us a tip. What do you do to help you push through when you're faltering? I mean, I'm sure you're faltering during some of these things, so what are you doing to help you push through?

[00:17:24] Jeff Wickersham: So, one, Creating wins in the mind. Mm-hmm. to allow you to only see kind of what's what's next. So we started at 11:00 AM David Goggins is out on the West coast. So he starts at 8:00 PM Pacific time started 11:00 AM When I got through that first 11:00 PM run, I said I only have one more 11:00 PM run. So I was already halfway there for those 11:00 PM runs.

[00:17:51] When I did the 3:00 AM run, I said, I only have one 3:00 AM run left. I was already halfway there. So I was tricking my mind into not saying I had 10 legs left. I only have one at 3:00 AM. So those subtle little things, subtle nuances that you can tell yourself. Allow you to not look forward to the 10, not look at the next 10.

[00:18:13] I just have one more at 3:00 AM Okay. I can do one more at three. Am it, it just gets you past that kind of that mountain that you're tackling just one step at a time, so you can do those things in anything you do. to really set you up for success and allow you to continue to push. 

[00:18:28] Jolie Downs: Mm-hmm. That's great.

[00:18:29] That's a really good tip. Now what about the flip side of that question? What, what about a time of a great challenge or difficulty? What did you learn and what'd you get out of that whole experience? 

[00:18:41] Jeff Wickersham: So the failure of my gym business. Yeah. Right. about 150 K in debt, just facing, do we need to sell the house?

[00:18:52] Do I need to file for bankruptcy? Right? All those pieces. Am I going to go back into corporate America, right? Mm-hmm. , what, what way do I, I bridge the gap and, and doing some deep soul searching and deciding that. No, I am going to make the coaching business work. Mm-hmm. , I'm gonna move forward. I'm gonna start speaking to companies and corporations and just drawing a line in the sand that I'm not going back now.

[00:19:18] Has that, has that? Thought process or that person in my mind pop up. Right? The negative voice say, ah, you should do it. Yes. But I more and more shut that down. Mm-hmm. and tell 'em to go sit in the corner , because I am. I am moving forward and it's what lights me up. It's what my purpose, my passion is. So that was my biggest.

[00:19:39] Failure, but it, it was a lesson in, Hey, you need to look at your numbers from a business per mm-hmm. perspective. You need to have all these pieces in place. You need to see the pain and, and move from it. Let it compel you to action and, and that's so, so vitally 

[00:19:53] Jolie Downs: important. Oh, yeah. And all of those little things.

[00:19:56] It's, I mean, really when you, when you do use your flashlight, as you say on. Experiences. You come home with so many takeaways that you never would've if you had not used that flashlight. And that is then the foundation for your next success. Yeah. So, so true. So that's, I mean, that's fantastic. And I'm really curious about a lot of the things that you're doing.

[00:20:20] I mean, I took a look at, um, at your website and I gotta say like your Unstoppable Family Challenge. I was really curious. I mean, tell us about your unstoppable family.

[00:20:29] Jeff Wickersham: Wow, you're gonna Yeah. I, I, I'm glad you talked about this because as I've gone through this journey and, and as people go through his journeys, you, you're gonna have ups, you're gonna have downs, and there's many, many iterations of you once you go start to, to do that self-discovery.

[00:20:43] And I thought, you know, my boys are the two greatest gifts I've ever been given in, in life, right? Yes. And one of the greatest things I've been able to do is coach and guide them. I've meditated now for three straight years before school with them every single day, and wonderful. I'm on. The wellness board of our school district that they go to.

[00:21:01] And what I've seen over and over again, and as I've been really connected to, you know, my, my, my purpose is families are suffering, right? I mean, I, I, I just saw that only 50% of American families eat dinner together and most of those families are, have a, a phone on their hand or they're watching TV while they're doing it, right.

[00:21:20] Where a society feels like it's crumbling. And I will say it's be due to the family. Foundation crumbling. So, you know, as adults many times it's difficult to get through. We're in our habits and rituals. We we're in our path and we don't, well this generation of kids is a first kid, the generation of children that has a lower life expectancy Wow.

[00:21:43] Than their parents. So if we don't stand up and say, you know what, we need to, we need to do something. Kids aren't gonna live as long, I mean, childhood obesity at 20%. Mm-hmm. , we're, we're, we're not doing the right things to guide our children. And I want to not only have adults, Go through that personal development journey, learn about habits, learn about positive.

[00:22:05] I want kids to do it. Yeah. Because I teach my sons how to do that and I, we do that then we're gonna fix society and we're gonna start to fight that tide that has been eroding that family beach for dozens and dozens of years. Right. And it's, it's just such a personal thing for me. because if you build a strong family, we're, we're gonna, we're gonna start to start to change the, , change the flow of society in general.

[00:22:28] So, uh, it's gonna be an amazing challenge. You can go out to my website and, uh, and check it out the morning fire.com. But it's all about family growing together. Sunday nights at seven. Yeah, hop on a Zoom. I coach you, I guide you. I give you things to implement not only for mom and.

[00:22:42] But the children and then they work together and it'll be amazing journey that I'll take 'em on. Wonderful. Over a 10 week process. Yep. 

[00:22:48] Jolie Downs: Is that something good for teenagers as well as younger kids? Absolutely. Awesome. Fantastic. So that'll be great. And, and what website should they go to if they're interested in that?

[00:22:58] Jeff Wickersham: So they can go out to, uh, www.themorningfire.com and then just grab, uh, I've got a little link there and you can grab, check out a 10 minute video, give you all the details, what it looks like, how we're gonna be, do amazing things in that 10 weeks. And it's truly as it's been the foundation for how I've evolved as a human being.

[00:23:16] Imagine given that gift to your kids, that 7, 8, 14, 18 years old, they will be so much, so much better off than. they would, if they don't do this, you're, you are giving them that gift to personal development and, and these peak performance habits. And it's, it's truly. My sons have learned it, right. They see me do it every single day, and now it's, it's given the gift out to families.

[00:23:41] Jolie Downs: Wonderful. And this is coming from a Tony Robbins award winner, which I'm not sure what that means, but I love Tony Robbins . 

[00:23:50] Jeff Wickersham: So I was, I was in a group of about 35,000, , people. And, , I got the, the start over award. So basically since I was closing down my gym business and starting over, , I won an award.

[00:24:00] So next time I get to see Tony in person, I'm actually, I've got the ability to go see him backstage. Awesome. And meet him and get a picture. So, yeah. Very 

[00:24:08] Jolie Downs: cool. Yeah, I love his teaching. It's very, very on point. So tell me, I'm curious about your own personal definition of success. What would you say is your definition of success?

[00:24:17] And based on that, what do you believe is key to having continued success throughout? 

[00:24:23] Jeff Wickersham: freedom would be my definition of success, right? Being able to pick and choose what you do on a daily basis and how you wanna spend. , the one opportunity you get in life. So freedom is just, just really to my core, how I operate.

[00:24:41] I modify change, do different things because I want to dictate. I want to be in control of my life. And so many people, the moment the alarm clock goes off, they play defense, right? They're looking at their phones, jumping in the shower, they're running late, drinking a cup of caffeinated coffee. and they're not, they don't have that freedom in their life.

[00:25:00] So, so freedom really, that, that's my definition of success. Love it. 

[00:25:04] Jolie Downs: And so I was curious what other habits, even though we've already discussed some of the habits that you brought forth in the mornings, are there any other habits that you have found that helped you or even your children reach personal fulfillment?

[00:25:19] Jeff Wickersham: Number one, you've gotta get up early and spend those first two to three hours. on yourself or tackling big audacious goals. Mm-hmm. , so science shows you at your, you are at your peak mental state right? When you wake up in the morning for the first two to three hours. 

[00:25:37] Jolie Downs: Make sense? Okay. Stop. Really quick.

[00:25:38] What do you say to the people like myself, , who really love to sleep in, because I know how important it's in the morning. So give me, give me that talk to help me cuz I know how important it is. Help me, help me do that. Well, the, 

[00:25:51] Jeff Wickersham: the first question I would ask is, okay, what time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up in the.

[00:25:56] Jolie Downs: Well, I wake, I go to bed at 11 and I get up at seven. 

[00:26:00] Jeff Wickersham: Okay, so eight, eight hours? Yes. Good. Good chunk of change then. When are you starting work after you're waking up at seven 

[00:26:08] Jolie Downs: o'clock? I'm pretty much getting ready and I have to take the kids to school, and then I'm starting work afterwards. 

[00:26:13] Jeff Wickersham: So I would typically say start with a half an hour earlier.

[00:26:17] Wake up at six 30, give yourself 30 minutes to exercise a bit, meditate, do those things that light you up physically, mentally, spiritually. Mm-hmm. . And then as you get that win of getting into that habit of doing 30 minutes, , then you might wanna say, you know what, I'm gonna get up at six o'clock instead, then you're gonna go to bed a little bit earlier.

[00:26:35] I mean, I typically go to bed anywhere from nine to 9 45. I'm up at four 15 in the morning. So just start a little bit, but give yourself the time. So it's not necessarily when you get up, it's just giving yourself that time to work on yourself right when you wake up in the morning. I like that, that that's, that's, that's the truly the gift is, Hey, regardless if you like to sleep in, that's fine.

[00:26:56] Yeah. But make. You're not running out the door getting the kids to school, and you have no time for yourself. Yeah, because again, that's kind of reactive and, and it adds stress, anxiety to doing it. Where imagine if you were up a half an hour earlier, you went through doing a little exercise, meditating, having a glass of water, writing in a gratitude journal.

[00:27:17] All these things that can, can truly light you. , and then you're like, all right, let's go to, let's go to school. Yes. Okay. Thank you. That, yeah, that is the key is just back off from when you need to do things mm-hmm. and give yourself a half an hour to begin and eventually, you know, you might build up to the, to the two or three hours 

[00:27:35] Jolie Downs: and you know, thank you.

[00:27:35] It's, it goes back to the baby steps. Baby steps are always, and I hadn't been thinking of it in those terms with waking up. I, I have been thinking I have to get up at five or I need to get up at four. But you're right. I mean, yes, I'm gonna do that. Thank you. I'm going to start with just a half hour earlier.

[00:27:49] Get used to it and keep moving, moving, moving. The goalpost. . There you go. That should go along. That's it. That's it. Love it. Thank you. I love it. And so I, I, I interrupted you, you were going onto the ne another one. Yeah. 

[00:28:01] Jeff Wickersham: So just that, that morning, having that time. in your morning set aside. Mm-hmm. because you're in your peak mental state and not doing things that truly don't move the needle in your life.

[00:28:12] Whether it's exercise, whether it's, you know, tackling some big things from a work perspective. And along with those lines, eliminate the distractions. So I have a rule, when you're waking up, you're doing personal development, you're doing some big things, you're not checking your cell phone, you're not checking social media, you're, you're not checking text messages and I don't care.

[00:28:32] You have 45 text messages and you see it, and I kind of relay it to the tractor beam on the desk star, like it's trying to pull you in. You don't check your phone because if there's anything remotely negative, it can have you spiral out of control down the wrong path where you light yourself up physically, mentally, spiritually.

[00:28:50] Hey, I get a text, ah, whatever. I'm, I'm just moving on. So that's just so, so fundamentally, I. so you can fight, like we talked about. Mm-hmm. in the rise, fight, love, repeat throughout your day. You gotta, you gotta prepare first and then you can go out and do 

[00:29:04] Jolie Downs: battle. Yes. I love it. Now you've talked about meditation a lot, and you've said that you had, you know, four years straight of meditation.

[00:29:10] Now you're doing it with your children. I love meditation. It has been transformative. I'm curious, I would love to hear about what it has done for you. I mean, Did you do meditation before you started this whole four years? Did it help transform your life? How did you get yourself to continue doing it? And what would you suggest for people who would like to meditate, but they struggle with it, how would you suggest them to get started and going?

[00:29:37] Jeff Wickersham: So I dabbled in it for, for a couple years, and I always thought meditation was very woo woosh, right? Mm-hmm. a muck on the side of a mountain snow, you know, and he is there for three hours and, and it's just not the fact it. It's taken some time and to breathe and be very focused on your breath. I still listen to guided meditation to this day.

[00:29:55] Mm-hmm. , I will say if anybody's wants to start a meditation practice again, very similar to what we talked about with you, kind of backing off your morning routine. Start small. Mm-hmm. , do it two minutes, five minutes, parrot with something you'd like to do. Maybe you like to brew coffee in the morning while the coffee's brewing.

[00:30:10] Go sit and breathe for a while or get one of those. Uh, I use, uh, insight timer is my meditation. Meditate while your coffee's brewing. Right? Yes. Pair it with something else. You're gonna be much more successful. And then I love Insight timer cuz it tracks how many days I straight, I've done it. Mm-hmm. , so I just hit, I think today was 1,510 straight days.

[00:30:30] Awesome. I still remember. We were down at Disney with the kids. We got up early and it was like day 145 or something. It was like 10 o'clock at night and I'm like, oh my gosh, I almost missed it. . And that was the closest I've gone from missing that kin consecutive streak. Do I think I'm gonna go for, no, I know it's gonna happen, but tracking it and seeing it.

[00:30:50] then you start to get competitive with yourself, right? And you say, how far can I take this? How long can I do it? And uh, that's, that's pretty cool. Kind of, kind of subconscious game you can play with yourself. I 

[00:31:00] Jolie Downs: love that. I'm really into those kind of subconscious games personally. They work well for me.

[00:31:04] I'm gonna, I'm gonna do that myself. , I'm gonna track cuz I love meditation and, and you're, and whenever I miss a day. , it makes a difference. Like you can feel it, it makes a difference. And sometimes if I miss a few days, I get cranky and, and, and I'll be wondering like, what's going on with me? It's cuz I haven't meditated

[00:31:21] So through everything that you've learned, is there one change that you feel people can make in their lives that can really move that needle towards, uh, a happier, more fulfilled? 

[00:31:37] Jeff Wickersham: I am gonna go back to the morning, right? When doing things for yourself in the morning, it is the start of your day.

[00:31:43] And when you take control of that first 30 minutes, it sets you up for success. And, and then you feel more empowered, you feel more in control. You're not playing defense, you're playing offense. I relate it to, you know, I, I think I mentioned, I coach my sons in, in sports, I coach 'em in basketball, right?

[00:31:58] Just think about defense in basketball. Your knees are bent, your bent, the hips, your quads. , that's what you're doing all day long when you play defense and you let everybody else dictate what life is gonna throw at you. So it's no wonder why at the end of the day you flop on the couch, you're throwing the tv, you're exhausted, stressed, you got nothing left, and you say, how am I gonna do this again tomorrow?

[00:32:18] Yeah, well imagine waking up, getting a glass of water, doing some exercise, meditating gratitude journal, being in control. It sets the tone for the entire rest of your day, and I would say your life moving forward. So I'm gonna go back to that morning routine, grabbing that first 30 minutes, making it your time that you're gonna give yourself grace, love yourself, do these things that light you up.

[00:32:45] It's, it's truly, truly transformational. 

[00:32:47] Jolie Downs: Yeah. Now, would you give the same advice for someone who feels stuck in life? Have you ever felt, felt. 

[00:32:54] Jeff Wickersham: I have, I have, I mean, I, I, uh, I felt stuck. I felt trapped by my negative beliefs that would just keep playing in the back of my mind. Mm-hmm. , and it's through.

[00:33:05] Taking time for myself, developing it really helps. Mm-hmm. being consistent. Yes. It, it just really helps cuz it starts to, to create momentum. Mm-hmm. , you, you stack those wins, you feel good about yourself, so then you explore, you get curious, what else can I do? And I always tell people we get to adulthood and we don't get curious and I always love to recommend putting on that white lab coat and becoming a scientist.

[00:33:27] Hey, what works, what doesn't? Yeah. So many people eat so. and then they feel like crap, but they never connect those dots and then they do it over and over again. They wonder why they're feeling like junk. Mm-hmm. . So, you know, putting on that weight lab coat and getting curious, spending that first 30 minutes of your day on yourself is the greatest gift.

[00:33:42] Not only give yourself but all those around you, cuz you're gonna show up so much better. 

[00:33:46] Jolie Downs: Wonderful. And are these the things that you talk about and work on within your groups, your, your Sparta groups? Both for women and for. . 

[00:33:53] Jeff Wickersham: Yes. This is the foundation to anything I teach. Mm-hmm. , it's always, what are you doing that first 30 minutes in the morning and what are you doing that first or that last 30 minutes of the day?

[00:34:05] Those are the bookends. You get those right. Hey, amazing things happen in the middle. 

[00:34:09] Jolie Downs: So what's happening in your Sparta groups who would be interested in, in, in taking a look at your masterminds? He, he has, he has the kings and queens of Sparta Masterminds. 

[00:34:17] Jeff Wickersham: So someone. wants to be a part of a tribe, a community of people that are saying, I want to step into the best version of myself personally and professionally.

[00:34:26] And so many times as adults, we are hanging out with friends or neighbors that we don't necessarily get to choose from. Yeah. This is being conscious about who I want to hang out with and operating in a group. Is interested in being the best version of themselves. And I always relate it to, I just just read a, a book by Angela Duckworth called Grit, and she talked about Olympic swimmers that want to be Olympians and, and they say that there's a struggle sometimes of getting up early and, and getting a swim in, but all of a sudden they join an elite swim club.

[00:35:01] Everybody gets up at five. There's no question. You just do it and all of a sudden it's part of your dna. Mm-hmm. . So being around. Like-minded men or like-minded women who wanna move the needle, want to be the best version of themselves. It's incredibly empowering because a lot of times it can be a very lonely journey.

[00:35:17] It was for me when I said, I'm not hanging out and drinking beer with my neighbors or, or my buddies. I'm, I'm doing the things that light me up. It was a very lonely journey. Yeah. So that's one of the reasons why I said, Hey, there's gotta be others out there that want to be the best version of themselves.

[00:35:31] And it's about connecting them. It 

[00:35:33] Jolie Downs: is. And it's very powerful when you come into a group of like-minded people. And, and it is, uh, when, when you get involved in personal development, it can be, um, a lonely process if the people around you aren't interested. As well and, and being able to find people who are aligned with that.

[00:35:51] It is, it is amazing. I'm actually, uh, you know, I, I can attest, I'm a part of a group similar and it's, it's magnificent how it can elevate your life and elevate your mindset in a lot of different ways. So I would, I would highly suggest people check out. Jeff's, um, kings and queens of Sparta Masterminds, and I'll have, um, the links in our show notes, but please tell us where, if there's a website that they could go to for this, 

[00:36:14] Jeff Wickersham: they, they can go out to kings of sparta.com and queens of sparta.com.

[00:36:19] Those are two places to, uh, to find some information on both my masterminds. Perfect. Perfect. 

[00:36:23] Jolie Downs: And you mentioned the, the book Grit, and I'm wondering are there any other books or even a video or talk that you've been exposed to that has really helped you that you feel other people should listen to or. 

[00:36:35] Jeff Wickersham: So, so two, I would say two videos.

[00:36:38] You can find out on YouTube, Steve Jobs Stanford commencement address. If you haven't watched that, it's incredibly, incredibly powerful. It talks about having faith. We always want to connect the dots forward. , we can't in life. You just have to have faith that looking back you can connect the dots. Mm-hmm.

[00:36:54] I, I, it really resonates me with my mom's passing. Her legacy, living through me would've never been able to connect him forward. But looking back, that was the, the spark, the trigger that I needed to, to light my fire. The other one is finding Joe. And this is about Joseph Campbell and the Hero's Journey incredibly, incredibly powerful.

[00:37:13] It's about an hour, 20 minutes on YouTube and uh, it's got Robin Sharma, Deepak Chopra, Laird Hamilton, Tony Hawk, and it's all about this hero's journey that we're all on. So many movies are based upon, and so many societies, ancient. Tribes all had this similar story, the hero's journey. Mm-hmm. . It's an incredibly powerful, powerful, it's about a an hour and 20 minutes and definitely worth the 

[00:37:36] Jolie Downs: watch.

[00:37:36] Oh, that's absolutely going on my list. And I am going to rewatch Steve Jobs commencement because as soon as you said that, I got little tingles. I remember that being incredibly powerful. Both very good suggestions. Thank you so much, Jeff. This has been really wonderful. Now, before we go, is there anything else?

[00:37:55] Um, I, I believe we went over your Sparta website and your Family Challenge web website. Is there anyth anywhere else that people can find you as well as your podcast? Could you tell us a little bit about your podcast? 

[00:38:05] Jeff Wickersham: Yeah, absolutely. So they can, uh, if they wanted to grab my book, it's out on Amazon, rise, fight, love, repeat, ignite Your Morning Fire.

[00:38:12] Uh, if you wanna listen to the podcast, it's called Morning Fire for Entrepreneurs. I interview an entrepreneur all Wednesdays and then Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, I do a five to 10 minute short episode. where it's just me personally giving you a, a big idea or a thought for the day. Yes. Maybe creating some awareness, maybe creating some action.

[00:38:30] Mm-hmm. execution on what I'm talking about. So that's, uh, that's a place to find me. You can find me out on YouTube, Jeff Wickersham Morning Fire. Uh, I do post the interviews out there as well as drop some videos as, as well. And I'm all, I'm out on all the socials, so uh, you can check me out as well.

[00:38:47] Perfect. 

[00:38:47] Jolie Downs: Thank you. Jeff. Before you go, my last question, what are you sure of?

[00:38:55] Jeff Wickersham: That our time is limited and that every single day you, if you can step into being just grateful for those opportunities, it's such an empowered, empowered way to live and you'll impact so many people. And, and we need you. I need you, we all need you to step up and, and be a leader because. The way we're headed doesn't need to be the way we end up and we need to stand up and be leaders and, and beacons of hope, positivity, and change.

[00:39:23] Jolie Downs: Yes. Oh, I thank you. Absolutely true. We absolutely need that. Thank you so much, Jeff. This has been wonderful. So many takeaways that I know myself will be carrying. I appreciate your time. 

[00:39:34] Jeff Wickersham: Oh, thank you so much for having me. 

[00:39:37] Jolie Downs: What an insightful talk with Jeff. When Jeff went through the traumatic process of losing his mom to cancer, his world completely shifted and within that, something changed inside of him. He began to question his place in the world and what he really wanted to do. Have you ever experienced something like, A crisis of some sort, a life gut punch that leaves you reeling and questioning everything I know I have.

[00:40:13] I also know that these crisis moments are often the catalyst to one's own ultimate authentic success. I think this is because most people are too busy existing and reacting to think. Actually creating the life that they really wanna live. But so many people who are now embodying their best life, they had a pivotal moment in their story where crisis became an unwelcome house guest and everything around them began falling apart.

[00:40:50] The result for each of these stories was that once everything was stripped away, Time was finally taken to figure out what they really wanted in life. Finding that clarity, doing that internal deep dive where you strip away everyone else's voices and listen to only the one that really matters, yours becoming clear about your true wants.

[00:41:20] This has resoundingly been the spark. That begins moving people towards their success. The good news is, is that you do not have to wait for a crisis to hit. You can learn from the lessons of others, and you can do this for yourself now, develop a deeply compelling vision of your life in all its facets, all of its fantasy.

[00:41:49] Not based on what anyone else wants, not based on any of the stories other people have told you, not based on any of the limiting beliefs that you have picked up along the way, but on the full fantasy of the dream life in your own mind, what if everything went absolutely perfectly for the next three years?

[00:42:15] What would your life look? Think about this, and then write it down. Write it all down. There is power in writing out your intentions, getting clear on your goals, and writing them down. This brings a special kind of magic, like the universe is conspiring to make it all happen with you.

[00:42:41] For Jeff, he realized he wanted out of the corporate world. He was ready for something different. He decided that he was going to open a gym, and through his experiences at the gym, he been began coaching. Now, Jeff was enjoying all of these changes that he had made when faced with another huge obstacle, COVID.

[00:43:05] And the subsequent shutdowns that came from that. This had a huge negative impact on his gym business, and Jeff found himself facing the hard decision of having to close the gym. This was a time of great stress and disappointment for Jeff as it would be for anyone. But he did not allow that to take him down.

[00:43:30] He did not beat himself up internally. He gave himself grace and he took the time to find what he could learn. He did not allow the gym closing to derail him from his dreams and what he knew to be the right path for himself. He had taken the time to listen, listen to himself. He had taken the time to.

[00:43:55] And he knew what it was that he needed. Now, Jeff was able to do this successfully because he learned that when you take a hammer to yourself, you will never allow yourself to move forward. You will just sit in an mobile bruised, unproductive.

[00:44:24] But if you instead pick up that flashlight and you shine that light of curiosity to learn what really happened and how you can grow from it, then these mistakes, they become our biggest stepping stones to success. This is how great things happen. Jeff doubled down on his coaching. He stuck to his habits.

[00:44:51] He stuck to his rituals, and he turned an incredibly difficult time into something that worked for him. He created a thriving coaching business with a variety of programs, and he wrote his first book during this difficult yet transformative time, and this is a universal truth to succeeding throughout.

[00:45:17] No matter what comes your way, it is up to you to find the gift that is hiding there. It is up to you to reframe your story into one that will serve you

[00:45:35] so with whatever it is that you are currently dealing with. These are your two questions. First. What do you need to do today so that in three years, whatever it is that is happening now, it becomes the best thing that could have ever happened to you.

[00:46:00] Second question, years from now, How will you wish you conducted yourself in this situation, regardless of outcome?

[00:46:17] Start there.

[00:46:21] Jeff's habits and rituals were huge, helps for him during this time. And he created coaching programs that include these methods. His productive four step morning fire mythology he created and he wrote a book about, it's his blueprint of rise, fight, love, repeat. This is a morning routine to light you up and kickstart your.

[00:46:48] Essentially, Jeff suggests that you rise with the day like a phoenix rising from the ashes. You have new opportunities, you have new possibilities every single day. So greet the day with excitement. Then you have to fight. You have to fight for what you truly want. So bring that energy of fighting for your dreams to each.

[00:47:14] And it all starts with love. Love for yourself. Because if you love yourself, then you can show up fully in Jeff. He has his clients look at themselves in the mirror every morning and say to themselves, I love you.

[00:47:33] So many people get emotional because they have never said that to before. Have.

[00:47:45] I remember the first time I was taught to talk lovingly to myself in the mirror. It was transformative. I highly suggest this. Go into the bathroom, look deeply at yourself and tell yourself, I love you. I believe in you. You've got. Say whatever it is that you need to say to yourself and do it every morning.

[00:48:16] Thus, the repeat, which is part of Jeff's secret sauce. Keep doing it again and again and again every day, and you will fall in love with yourself in the process.

[00:48:31] What could be better? . Jeff also gets up at three 30 every morning to work on his goals. Now, this is hard for me. I know waking up earlier would give so many people much needed extra time in the day, but honestly, for many of us, getting up early is hard. When I asked Jeff for advice about the early morning challenge, he suggested setting an alarm clock for 15 minutes earlier for one week, and then once you're acclimated to that, then set it for another 15 minutes earlier and so on and so forth until you're getting the time that you need.

[00:49:02] This is great. Once again, baby steps to the rescue. This is doable. I put Jeff's morning routine to the test. I split up my week between half being mindful about when I woke up and what I did in the morning, and then half just simply rolling outta bed and beginning my day. Now the days that started with a mindful morning routine were hands down the most exceptional days in so many more ways than one.

[00:49:32] And in such stark contrast that I can attest, this is an incredibly easy change that you can make tomorrow that will absolutely greatly impact your life in a very positive way. If you are doing nothing mindful in the morning, might I suggest picking one or two quick changes to start with and then see how you feel.

[00:50:00] Anyone, even the most non-money of people that you can think of, can easily implement some kind of start the day routine. For example, before getting out of bed, simply close your eyes. Think of five things that you feel grateful. Really feel that gratitude filling up inside of you. Let it swirl around and give you lots of good feels.

[00:50:27] And then picture yourself five years in the future as if everything that could possibly go right has gone right for you. See what you're doing, where you're living, what your life looks like from all angles. You know what this looks like cuz you've gotten in touch with it, right? And then focus on what you can do today that might move you closer to any of those.

[00:50:51] By doing this, you've just added three powerful morning tools, namely gratitude, future visioning, and daily planning to set you up for a good day before your feet even hit the floor. Use that to get you ready to rise, fight, love, and repeat. Then book end. This with half hour at the end of your day, once again, being mindful and doing those things that you need to do for you, simple changes, they can lead to significant results.

[00:51:32] Now, meditation was another big factor on Jeff's path to success, and Jeff admits that he'd always thought of meditation as a very woo-hoo monk on the side of the mountain kind of thing until just a few years. After learning of the incredible benefits of meditation, he now teaches all of his clients how to add it to their lives.

[00:51:51] And he suggests starting small, either focusing on your breathing or using guided meditations. If you're struggling, simply do two minutes or five minutes at a time. Pair it with something that you like to do, such as doing your meditation with your coffee or your coffee bruise in the morning, or sit in the car and focus on your breathing for two minutes before you start your car or before you get out of your.

[00:52:15] Meditation is so prevalent in all of these stories of people who are truly thriving, that this is a practice worthy of everyone's attention. It is one of the easiest ways that you can greatly improve your life in the most profound ways. And there are so many ways to meditate. I personally love a good guided meditation, and you can find them in a variety of apps.

[00:52:45] From Calm to Mindvalley To Sana, Jeff personally, he likes Insight Timer. It's an app available on your phone and it tracks how many days straight that you've done Meditation, Jeff himself, he's hit over 1600 days straight, and it's a large part because the tracker helps motivate him to stay on this practice.

[00:53:06] Tracking. Tracking how often and how consistently you do something is a really good life hack for any habit that you're trying to develop. It is through repetition that habits develop and being able to look at our results and then celebrate the successes or learn from the failures. With fun tools like an app, this appeals to our brain.

[00:53:26] It makes it easier to stay consistent with a desired. Jerry Seinfeld uses this technique to keep himself writing. He makes a large X on his calendar each day, creating a chain of Xs. Once you start that chain, your brain naturally does not want to break it. It's a great productivity hack. As Jeff shared, he remembered being in Disneyland with his kids.

[00:53:50] They'd gotten up super early, spent all day at the park, had just gotten back really late at night when his brain realized he was gonna break the chain. He hadn't meditated, so he took that time late at night to get it in. Tracking. It's a powerful tool. Makes it easier to be competitive with yourself and think, how far can I take this?

[00:54:09] Use this as a subconscious way to play with your mind. One of my favorite meditations is the Vision LA's six Phase Meditation. This practice, it combines gratitude, love, forgiveness, future visualization, perfect day visualization, and overall connection, which rolls into one really impactful meditation. It remains one of my favorite ways to start the day.

[00:54:32] You can find a version on episode 67 of this podcast. Finally, Jeff shared another key insight to overall success and fulfillment. Find your like-minded people who want to move the needle and be the best versions of themselves. When you find people who are on the journey to becoming their best version, they help you stay on your journey to becoming your best version.

[00:55:03] Together, you will move farther faster and the process will be so much more enjoyable. There is a lot of power in finding a group that helps lift each other up, and there are groups all over the internet. Find one that speaks to you and create those golden connections.

[00:55:26] So that is my wish for us all, that you develop the habits and that you find the relationships that help you be your very best you. Until next time.